Thank You

It is Christmas Eve, and my youngest daughter and I are discussing how to accept gifts gracefully and graciously. She just asked me, "Is it okay to say, 'Thanks, I really like this even though this isn't what I wanted'"?

Well, no, my dear, it is not okay. I tell her it is important that she say thank you, and that she shows some sincere appreciation for the gift. Making the giver feel good is the goal. This seems a bit confusing to her, an eight year old.

I recently came across a very good article on this sometimes confusing topic of receiving in Easy Living magazine. According to writer Lesley Garner, "There is also a skill to being the person on the receiving end." When someone is offering one thing to someone else, "they are giving away something of themselves as well as the actual object." Therefore, the recipient's responsibility is to express gratitude, simply and lovingly. Like I told my daughter, "Smile, look the person in the eye, and say 'Thank you.'"

This advice applies when someone compliments you on something you are wearing, or when someone gives you a gift. Talking to my daughter reminded me how I should respond to all gifts, the everyday and the special.

Happy Holidays to All and Very Warm Wishes for a Happy New Year!

Cashmere

Cashmere is everywhere, even more now that stores are trying to purge their winter inventory. Savvy shoppers know there is cashmere, and then there is cashmere. This topic was well-covered in the Los Angeles Times Image section on Sunday, December 20.

Journalist Sabrina Azadi writes that the price for a cashmere sweater runs from $1,000 to $59.99. This explains why cashmere products can be found both at high end boutiques and Costco. In the end, the difference in price is an indication of quality. Cashmere, given the labor and time to manufacture it, should be expensive. "It takes a Mongolian goat about four years to naturally shed enough hair to make one cashmere sweater; then the hair has to be washed and sorted by hand. Once the raw material has been harvested, it must be spun into yarn and made into a garment."

When cashmere is blended with wool, silk, or other synthetic fibers the price decreases. So too does the softness. An acquaintance recently recounted the "amazing" deal she got on her cashmere sweater. Her story included special sales, a discount card, and a coupon she clipped from the newspaper. I am all for getting a bargain, but when I felt her sweater, it was not soft. Why bother! While two-ply cashmere offers tremendous warmth, people are attracted to cashmere for its luxuriously soft feel.

Historically, the best cashmere is from Scotland and is spun and knit there and in Italy. I was recently given a number of cashmere sweaters and scarves with "Made in Scotland" on their labels. Believe me, I have never felt such softness. The blends I have purchased over the years pale in comparison, and they have pilled a great deal.

Here is the scoop if you want to "tell the good from the destined to disappoint:
Labels: Opt for 100% cashmere if you can afford it.
Touch Test: Good quality cashmere should be really soft; it doesn't shine and shouldn't feel slippery or look fuzzy.
Quality: Cashmere should rebound back into shape when stretched."
Care: Hand wash in gentle soap in cool water, roll in a towel to soak up extra water, then dry flat.
Store cashmere in breathable clothing bags; do not hang it up; and put it away for the season CLEAN.

As a final word, "Just remember that at prices lower than $100, you're mostly buying into the cashmere name and the connotation of luxury without getting any of its benefits." Your money may be better spent on a lovely merino wool sweater.

Winding Down

This time of year seems frenzied for a lot of us. So I appreciate the tips my friend and colleague, Sara Caputo, shared on a recent blog.

Read her 3 tips for taking care of yourself . You will be reminded of simple advice you have heard all of your life and will be richly rewarded when you take it.

The Coveted Coat

For years I have been stalking chic wool coats. This practice begins every winter when I pull out my silly reversible down jacket (silly because its sleeves are short and the bottom half of my body remains cold), and my oversized, completely unflattering black trench coat.

Living in Santa Barbara is clearly not the same as living on the East Coast, and I have been unable to justify the purchase of something that will not get much wear. However, my job as a wardrobe consultant (and plain old vanity) means I want to look good, and my old standbys had overstayed their welcome. No matter what I had on, once I buttoned up one of my unattractive, ill-fitting outerwear options, I looked, at best, frumpy.

When the coats go on sale at J. Crew each year, I ogle, sigh, dream, and then decide I really don't need a coat. This year, though, I finally had had enough of my frumpy look, and I purchased a fabulous, classic, great-fitting, and WARM coat. I've worn it almost every day for a week and now wonder what took me so long. The fact that I got it for 60% off made the purchase that much sweeter.

Now is the time to buy that warm sweater, coat, or jacket you have been thinking about. Prices are remarkably low and store inventory is high.

Keeping It Simple

I have been working with someone recently who is simplifying her life in many ways. She has decided to purge almost all of her existing clothing and is now wearing only two colors. At first I was taken aback--most women want more and more clothes and balk at the idea of limiting themselves in any way.

The more I get to know this woman, the more I have come to admire her. She has learned that having a simplified wardrobe makes getting dressed effortless. Every piece coordinates with every other piece. She has beautiful taste and appreciates quality; therefore what she has chosen fits her well and will last.

Am I ready to whittle down my color and clothing choices? Not to the extent that this woman has, but I find myself thinking more about what I need versus what I want. Do I admire how her style has evolved? Absolutely. Her wardrobe reflects who she is currently and it suits her lifestyle well. Can we all learn from her clear vision and keen eye? Yes!

Junk--Mail and Otherwise

My friend, Radiant Organizing's Sara Caputo, and I were recently talking about junk. In her work with people's business and home space, she and her clients unearth a lot of junk. A great deal of this junk is in the form of junk mail. Sara talks to her clients about the junk, why they still have it, what pieces need to be saved, how to dispose of the rest of it, and, most importantly, how to avoid bringing more junk into their lives. She is a very talented expert on time and space management.

When I work with my Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients, I also encounter junk. In clothing it takes the form of outdated, ill-fitting, torn and stained clothing. Sometimes the clients themselves don't even like their junk, but they are reluctant to part with it.

Another kind of junk is fabric from beloved clothing that the client imagines turning into a pillow, a blanket, or cutting up to use in a quilt someday. Now, I am all for being thrifty and have seen creative people make beautiful things out of castoff clothing. However, by the time I am invited into someone's closet, that pile of dream remnants has been gathering dust for a long time. What do I suggest?

First, I ask the client how realistic it is for her to tackle a project, such as making a quilt, in the near future. This helps her to look at that stack of old clothing with fresh eyes, and she usually finds herself relieved to chuck a lot of it. The remaining items have sentimental value and are boxed up and are stored in an attic or garage--out of the client's main closet.

When the junk is cleared away, whether it is papers or clothing, our vision becomes sharper. We can see what we really need, what treasures we already possess and how we can make our lives less cluttered and stressful.

Men's Pants

I have had some male clients, and for the most part they have been quite set in their sartorial ways. When I work with women, they often tell me, "Oh, I wish I could get you in my husband's closet!" Of course I would be delighted to work with their husbands, but, the women tell me, "They don't see anything wrong with how they dress."

One chapter of Clinton Kelly's book that made me laugh the most was the three photos he has of a man and a woman, detailing why their look is not working. The male model struck me as the most amusing, because I can think of several men who could have been in those pictures! Kelly describes the importance of wearing clothes that are "just right," neither too big nor too small. When it comes to pants, men seem to err on the too big side.

Enter Bonobos, which the co-founder, Andy Dunn, is modeling above. Bonobos is an online only store which "is on a mission to give American men a complex about their backsides. The pants’ distinguishing feature is that they eliminate the sagging bottom of ill-fitting trousers." Now, I do not welcome men becoming fixated on their bottoms, but it would be okay if they learned to wear pants that fit them properly.

To learn more about Bonobos, read this article from The New York Times.

Shopping as Exercise

Katy Bowman is a national and international health expert, educating people on how the body works. She is a biomedical scientist who, through her years of study and practice, is convinced that wearing high heel shoes is very detrimental to a woman's overall health. She likes clothing and dressing well (in flats!), and is the director of the Restorative Exercise Institute.

One of her recent blog posts gives useful, reasonable advice on how to stay in shape during this holiday season. Yes, you can actually stay in shape by shopping! Take her advice seriously: She is wise!

"Hues"

There are so many beautiful colors in the stores and on the street these days. Bill Cunningham from the New York Times captures these vibrant hues in one of his recent "On the Street" videos. Enjoy!

Sweater Care

What a relief it is to learn there is someone more compulsive than I am when it comes to caring for fine sweaters. Lloyd Boston, an elegant and knowledgeable clothing guru, made a very helpful video, showing how to hand wash your sweaters. I love the part about wrapping each one in tissue before storing it at the end of the season. I don't even go that far!

P.S. These ridiculously warm days provide the ideal outdoor drying environment for your sweaters.

The Great Tim Gunn

Oh, I love Tim Gunn. He is so dapper, so smart, so articulate, and gracious. He was interviewed by Patt Morrison in the Op-Ed section of the LA Times this past Sunday. Here are some highlights:

"I don't care what you [fashion designers] design as long as your client can get into a taxi. t That eliminates a lot of the ridiculousness and float-in-a-parade [designs]."

"I cannot wrap my brain around the ubiquity of Crocs. They're horrible! If we all succumbed to the comfort trap, to dress as if we never got out of bed--then we should never get out of bed."

He received this comment about Project Runway from the mother of a 9-year old: "The show teaches young people how important qualities of character are: It teaches you hard work pays off, that cheaters never prosper, that it's better to play nicely with others than to be a diva."

Gunn is humble and thoughtful throughout the interview. His book, "A Guide to Quality, Taste, & Style" is hugely instructive.

To Slip or Not to Slip

I was at a department store recently, trying on a form fitting knit dress. Viewing myself in the 3-way mirror revealed my need for a slip. So I asked the young salesgirl if she could fetch me one from the adjacent lingerie department. She looked at me as if I'd asked her to get me a hot dog. I repeated my request, but she still seemed perplexed. Taking matters into my own hands, I walked over to the lingerie department, asked a knowledgeable salesperson where the slips were located, found an appropriate one, put it on, and then asked salesperson #1 if she noticed a difference. She replied, "Yeah, you don't look so bumpy." Nice.

Today I read a post which thoroughly covers the ins and outs of slip wearing. Thank you, Diana!

Well-Groomed

Being well-groomed means you are taking care of yourself. You do not need to wear the latest, most expensive clothing to be well-groomed. Instead, you simply need to pay attention to the small details, such as keeping your nails trimmed and neat looking (no chipped polish!). Other signs of a well-groomed person are healthy-looking hair in a nicely maintained style, clothing that fits and does not have loose, dangling threads, holes (unless they are meant to be there, such as those in hip jeans this season), pilling, or yellow underarm stains.

To me, Gwen Stefani epitomizes a well-groomed woman. Her hair is always flawlessly colored and styled, her makeup is neat, her clothing, though oftentimes wild and cutting-edge, suits her figure perfectly. She never looks sloppy or thrown together. She looks confident and appears to love clothes and getting dressed up. When Gwen is photographed on casual days with her family, you can see that she has still taken the time to put herself together.

As I said before, being well-groomed shows you care about and respect yourself. So take some time to attend to those little details, like Gwen does!

Models

Today I was in my car, listening to "Talk of the Nation" on the radio and wishing I could chime in. The subject was the September issue of Glamour magazine, which "features a model who is considered plus-sized. Cindi Lieve, the editor-in-chief of the magazine, and Washington Post fashion editor Robin Givhan examine whether or not the fashion industry is 'sizing up.'"

The fashion editors had a lot to say about the size of models, and how that has changed over the decades. Listeners called in and had a range of opinions. I was happy to hear how many of them urged the editors to feature more "regular" sized women and to hear some of the callers and the editors express an emphasis on healthy bodies, regardless of size. Will this kind of discussion gain momentum and lead to designers create wonderful clothing for American women, whose average size is 14?

Go here to listen to the story.

Sequins!

I've been a fan of sequins for years. Someday I hope to purchase a sequin sheath dress though I cannot imagine what occasion will call for it. Sequined clothing just says, "I am fun and when you wear me you will have a good time."

Journalist Melissa Magsaysay from the LA Times suggests great ways to wear sequins in her most recent article. The outfits she describes and shows do not scream 1970s Vegas. On the contrary, the looks can be worn during the day! I also like the accessories featured in the photographs. Fun, fun, fun!

HItting the Stores

This weekend my closest friend and most reliable shopping companion was in town. We had a super time exploring La Cumbre and Paseo Nuevo Malls. I showed great restraint by only purchasing one item: a black cardigan from J. Crew (I know! What a surprise).

My friend returned some items and purchased 3 pairs of shoes. She is a serial returner, so I know she will not keep all of them. A shoe epiphany she shared with me was simple yet profound: there is no shoe that will work with every kind of outfit, for every occasion. So, while you may not need 10 pairs of black shoes, you do need a different shoe for wearing with a pencil skirt and wearing with casual jeans. She has given up finding "the shoe" and I applaud her.

What I've Learned

Upon entering my fourth year with Wardrobe Wisdom, I am reflecting upon the dozens of clients I've worked with. Each has been unique, but I have noticed some patterns.

In general, those with the least amount of clothes tend to be the least stressed about what to wear everyday. Conversely, the overloaded closets I've seen overwhelm people. My job is to help clients with those kinds of closets to learn what they really need and what suits their lifestyle. Gently urging them to part with certain items is another thing I do with them.

Working with men has exposed the myth that women are hoarders. The men I've worked with are very sentimental about and attached to their clothing. Still, once we looked at their beloved items (and they shared stories about them), they were fairly willing to give a lot of them up.

I can think of only two clients who have a healthy appreciation of their bodies and their shapes. The rest have been quick to point out perceived flaws. This is dismaying but not surprising, given our society which tells us that beauty means young, wrinkle-free, and skinny. On the bright side, nearly every client has been happy to learn ways to play up body parts she has liked while downplaying other parts. Not one man had a critical thing to say about his physique. Interesting.

A large number of my Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients do not like to shop. However, this does not mean that they don't like clothing or looking good. Instead, I learned they had spent years frustrated by what they found in stores, and their spirits quickly fell when on a shopping excursion. It has felt great to point them in the right direction in terms of where to shop for great clothing and service in town or online. I've also enjoyed shopping for some of these clients; seeing their looks of joy when I brought them clothing that fit and flattered them is among my favorite aspects of my job.

As people began to be more careful with their money this past year, I believe they have become smarter about their clothing choices. A lot are bringing out the basics in their closets and call me to learn how to update them. This is always great fun, and makes me look forward to more years of Wardrobe Wisdom.

Seeing Red

I wore a red dress yesterday and received several compliments and surprised expressions from my friends. Red is not a color I wear often, and apart from the dress, the only other red item in my wardrobe is a blouse. Blue, gray, black, white, and pink are the most prevalent colors in my closet, but I have to say that wearing red for a change was quite fun!

Take a look in your closet and identify your dominant colors. What color do you have in there that you like but rarely wear? Wear it on this week and see if it doesn't give you a lift and solicit nice comments from others.

Plus-Size Clothing

A woman came into Patty Montana recently, telling me how happy she was to learn that clothing for plus-size women is becoming more attractive and easy to find. This was news to me: Several of my Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients relate stories of frustration while searching for plus-size clothing, and I find shopping for them challenging as well. However, one of my friends and clients just sent me this blog post which does offer some hope for plus-size women.

Tailoring

Women in the know use tailors. Whether this is a habit they gained early in life or later, they understand the value of getting clothing altered to fit them just right. Very few people can buy clothing right off the rack and have it fit perfectly. This is especially true now when the average size of American women has little in common with fit models who are stick thin yet have had breast augmentation surgery. What on earth?!

The article "A Tailor Up My Sleeves," by Michelle Slatalla in the New York Times underscores the benefits of using a tailor, especially during this time when people are trying to stretch their wardrobes and wardrobe dollars.

Full Disclosure

The ever-brilliant Wild Web Women at Web Marketing Therapy are always passing along useful, timely information. This week I learned "that effective 12-1-09, the FTC is mandating that bloggers must disclose payments for endorsements."

Since I started my blog, I have been asked more than once if I am paid by businesses when I make a comment about them. Though I sometimes fantasize about Boden sending me boxes of free clothing, I have never been paid (monetarily or in merchandise) for my endorsements. By remaining a free agent, I remain honest. Thus, when I say that I love something I've seen at Saks, or I think a certain book is terrific, you can be assured that I mean it. Of course I do get paid by Patty Montana when I work there on Fridays, but I write about the store or its products without any extra payment.

Saks Fifth Avenue

Over the years I have heard friends and Wardrobe Wisdom clients complain about the unwelcoming environment at Saks. Yet many of these same people have no problem shopping at Blue Bee and its offspring--stores that make me feel like a country bumpkin. Perhaps shoppers need to visit Saks again to feel more comfortable there.

During my recent tour of Saks, with its down-to-earth, friendly women's departments manager, I met some very nice sales clerks and was extremely impressed with the store's inventory. There is something for everybody (Well, almost. There is no longer a men's department) at Saks. For working women, clothing by Tahari, Theory, Natorious, Akris Pinto, and Zenobia is just right. Even wearing one piece from one of these designers can give a businesswoman confidence; they are beautiful and well-made. I am a big fan of Theory and I so love clothing by Milly.

For decades Burberry was known for its iconic trench coat. Now it offers some more fun and lively pieces. I saw a number of on-trend, cute jackets and great outerwear pieces.

The section of the store I loved the most is downstairs, where menswear used to be. In this contemporary department, I saw a staggering selection of premium denim jeans, lovely pieces by Joie and Twill Twenty-Two, super nice clothing by Marc by Marc Jacobs, and loads of separates to mix and match. The selection of shirts by James Perse is the largest I've seen anywhere, and I saw a number of good-looking belts. This section of the store is hip, fresh, and full of surprises without being pretentious.

So, ladies, it is time to give Saks another chance. I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Shopping for Quality

My mom is a stickler for quality. She sniffs derisively when she spots a skirt whose pattern does not match up at the seams. She smells purses to see if the leather is good. She looks to see if the seams are finished in any given item. When I was little, these traits made me impatient while we shopped. Now I appreciate how she taught me to look for quality when I shop.

Not everyone has such a picky mom, though. In fact, one thing my Wardrobe Wisdom business has taught me is that women learn how to shop, or how not to shop, from our mothers. Here then is a primer from InStyle magazine on how to spot quality:

1. Beads: Fabric should be strong enough to support any embellishment. Seams around detailing shouldn't be pulled or stretched.

2. Buttons: Gently tug on each to make sure they're all well-anchored.

3. Lining: The key is one that feels good on your skin, and that helps the garment hang correctly.

4. Pattern: Polka dots, stripes, houndstooth--any repeating print/pattern--should line up perfectly, not off-kilter, at the seams.

5. Seams: French seams are the ultimate as they are turned under and beautifully finished to hide raw edges. I am still shocked to find so many expensive items with sloppy, unfinished seams.

6. Zipper: Test it a few times. Does it glide easily? Snags are a red alert that it's cheaply made and may not last long.

The Style Strategy

One of the many things I like about Nina Garcia, author of "The Style Strategy," is her understanding of what goes through a woman's mind when she thinks about clothing. In her current book, she compares our more frugal buying habits with being on a diet. She is concerned that, like dieters, we will begin to feel deprived and depressed, and these feelings can lead us to making unwise, expensive, and unnecessary purchases.

Her advice is similar to the advice I give to my Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients: Shop wisely and mindfully. Look at what you have, what you like, and what you truly need to fill in any wardrobe gaps. If a bit of cash is really burning a hole in your pocket, you should probably stay away from your favorite boutique (boy do I know this feeling), and instead buy something small. Garcia suggests a new lipstick or a fun accessory. In this way, you get your shopping high without compromising your budget. Smart.

Animal Prints

I was slow to come around to this trend when it emerged a few years ago. Since I am petite, I feared looking silly wearing such a bold look. Would it wear me?

Now that animal prints have been around several seasons, I have really warmed up to them. I love the belts at J. Crew, the cute flats at Garnet Hill (the only ballet flats that I find comfortable), and the cute sweaters at Ann Taylor.



A very good article which dispenses advice on how to work animal prints into your wardrobe was recently in The Los Angeles Times' Image section. The link is not accessible (grrr!), but here are some points the journalist, Melissa Magsaysay made:

- As with any trend, wear it sparingly. . . Introduce these prints slowly and subtly into your wardrobe.

- Keep it tame by knowing which parts of your body to accentuate and, most important, when to stop. A loud print will draw attention to whatever part it's covering so place it in an area of your body you like.

- Animal prints are a trend that should not be paired with other current trends--meaning don't mix animal prints with shoulder pads or distressed denim.

For Fall

My Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients, as well as my friends, ask me what is new for fall. Okay, ladies, here it is in a nutshell: Fall Fashion Looks. Thanks go to Style Bakery for its concise list of ways to update your look. The examples in the photographs are great, too.

Color!

After switching out my wardrobe recently, from warm to cool weather clothing, I made note of what colors I like. My wardrobe is filled with a lot of blue, gray, black, and white. In the last couple of years, I have gravitated toward dark brown and green, and I've always liked purple and pink. So how will I (or won't I) include THE colors for this fall?

This is a question we should all ask ourselves before hitting the stores. Yes, there will be a lot of gray and purple out there which makes me happy. But those colors don't do much for my friend Stacy or my mom. Fortunately, olive green, honey yellow, and burnt sienna will be out in force as well for those who look better in colors with a yellow (as opposed to blue) undertone. Do yourself a favor and hold the color you are considering up to your face, preferably in natural light, before committing to buying it. Tights and bangles are a great way to bring in a fun new color that may not flatter your complexion.

As a reminder, here are the colors you will see a lot of in the stores now:
Blue-reds, fuchsias, and soft pinks.
Purple, cobalt, teal, and emerald
Gray (Seek a heather or oatmeal gray if blue-gray doesn't suit you)
Metallics (gold, silver, and bronze) I am glad this shimmery trend has lasted!

Pioneer Woman

It takes great restraint for me not to write about my other passion in this blog: food. Oh, I could write something every day about cooking, eating, recipes, a meal I ate 5 years ago. . . See?

So imagine my delight when I came across a wonderful, unusual website about a woman who shares my love of good food, among other things. Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond is incredible: She cooks, she takes fantastic photographs, she writes, she works hard on her ranch, she home schools 4 kids (WOW!), and she posted a candid, very humorous blog about going through her closet. I must share it!

I love how she not only shares why she is parting with certain pieces, she makes funny observations about what attracted her to them in the first place and the accompanying photos are terrific. Exploring her site was one of the best online diversions I've taken in a long time.

The 40-Year-Old Shopper

I recently read a nice article, whose title I stole for this blog post, in Esquire magazine by Mike Albo. Though he is writing from a man's point of view, many of his observations hold true for women as well. I found this statement particularly true: "It's not an easy transition, this turning-forty thing, but when you know where to find classic clothing with just enough originality to keep things interesting, it can get a little easier."

The only problem is in trying to find wonderful clothing! Jeez! Women in Europe, Japan, and Great Britain, among those in other countries, do not seem in a quandary about where to purchase clothing. They look chic and polished, season after season, without seeming to try very hard. Why does the U.S. have a dearth of clothing for the 40+ crowd? Yeah, we have a plethora of stores that cater to the frumpy, dowdy, matronly woman, and the "I want to wear what my daughter wears" crowd, but what about the rest of us?

Though the search for these elusive stores for 40+ women continues, we can aspire to the ideal in Albo's final paragraph: "In the end, a midlifer ends up becoming an expert shopper, whether he means to or not. . . He gives every article of clothing a ruthless look in the dressing room. . . He makes wise investments. And he does it all with a healthy sense of humor."

Leave It To The Experts

Part of my recent website update involved taking new head shots. Sure, I could have taken the easy way out and asked my husband or a friend to snap some photos on a day I felt attractive. But I've done that before with varying degrees of success. I decided to take my own advice and hire an expert, Rick Carter.

On the day we met, he put me immediately at ease, asking me what backgrounds I preferred and gently telling me how to stand and hold my head. Left to my own devices, I would have had little idea what poses to strike. This process can be very awkward, but Rick's professionalism and confidence made it comfortable and easy.

Another local expert is esthetician Roxanne Zbinden, at Cielo Spa. She is the one I turn to for skin-care advice. She is knowledgeable and gives outstanding facials in addition to other spa treatments. I could never receive such a level of expertise at my local drug store or from a department store cosmetics counter.

When people ask me why they should hire me instead of relying on themselves or their friends for fashion advice and wardrobe management, I tell them they should hire me because I am an expert. I spend most of my time reading about, shopping, and researching fashion and style. I know how to organize a closet and make efficient use of closet space; I know what colors and styles suit different body types, and where to tell people to find the clothing they seek, always remaining mindful of their particular budgets.

Hiring an expert, whether it is a photographer, esthetician, or wardrobe consultant, saves you time, money, and stress. It is worth it!

Jeans, Again

Among all the names that fly around in the denim world, one seems rather unsung: David Kahn. These jeans are pricey, but boy do they flatter a woman's figure. I have seen lean, curvy, tall, and short women in David Kahn jeans, and they all look fabulous, due to the various available styles. The one style that suits most women is called, eponymously, the Butt-Lifter. It works, truly!

These jeans are available at Patty Montana in Goleta and at Nordstrom in Paseo Nuevo Mall. Give them a try!

Wardrobe Inventory

I've worked in retail forever and every year I know the stores must take inventory, a dreadful chore. I always thought that taking an inventory of my own closet would be far less tedious, and so this year I tested my theory. Was it dull? Yes. Was it enlightening? Yes. Would I recommend it? Definitely!

My family kept asking me what on earth was I doing. My husband was not seeing the value in this time-consuming inventory exercise. Only later, when I described how I learned what NOT to buy, did he understand why I would write down everything contained in my wardrobe.

Here is what I learned:
I do not need more than 3 black skirts (casual, dressy, work).
Seeing so many black skirts in my closet clarified the foolishness of redundant purchases in general.
I don't like wearing blouses.
So I should stop purchasing them even though they are ALWAYS listed as must-have items.
I do not need to keep buying gray sweaters.
Though I love them, I only have one body to keep warm and I do not live in a very cold climate.
I do not wear shoes that hurt my feet (surprise!).
Wow! I had at least 4 pairs of shoes in my arsenal that have always hurt. Stop doing that, Lori!!!
I do wear dresses.
So I should spend money on these, since I feel good in them, as opposed to separates.

In the end, I had a large bag of clothing to offer a friend, and a clearer idea of holes in my wardrobe. Even if you do not spend an entire day writing down what your closet contains, do look at what you own and see if you discover any unhealthy buying patterns. I guarantee this exercise will ultimately save you time and money, especially if you follow up by making an appointment with me at Wardrobe Wisdom!

I Love Easy Living

More than once I've posted a blog about Easy Living, my favorite magazine. Among all the fashion magazines on the rack, Easy Living stands out. The writing is intelligent and captivating, with varied and well-researched articles. In one issue I can read about upcoming books and movies, learn how to shop in second-hand stores, gain tips on living more green, and discover how the "other woman" feels. Each month Easy Living contains great fashion photos and practical advice on how to wear the current styles. I eagerly await every issue, having subscribed last year after not consistently finding it in Santa Barbara's bookstores.

However, I think more women are discovering this extraordinary magazine, and it now seems quite easy to find. Borders carries it and so does the Front Page, at 5737 Calle Real in Goleta. Too bad I already paid for my overseas delivery! Let me know what you think of Easy Living.

A Cry for Help?

I just laughed out loud while reading "One Man and His Ugly Shoes" by Michelle Slatalla in the New York Times. She writes about her husband's strange new shoes and other dubious clothing choices he has made during their time together. Of course I thought of my husband and his cycling knickers though I don't need any more Emails from his loyal friends.

Read it; it's funny!

Rebagz

I've had a hard time getting excited about the HUGE handbags being churned out for the past few years. Since I am petite, these enormous statement bags looked absurd on me. So it's rare that a handbag catches my eye in a positive way.

Enter Rebagz. These stylish, original bags are the brainchild of Mary Stevens-Heebner, who says, "Some carried rice and grains around. Others were fruit juice packs – the kind you stick a straw in and slurp from. But after those jobs were done, these packs and sacks were just too colorful to throw away. So instead they’re rescued and transformed into our whimsical bags, handmade especially for you, by a wonderful women’s cooperative in the Philippines.
Now just wear, enjoy - and recycle!"

Go to the Rebagz website now and see if you can resist buying one of these unique, sensational bags. Good luck!

True Service

I am revisiting this topic since questions seem to arise around it. Sometimes it is hard to know how to answer when the cashier asks, "Was someone helping you?" Though not all stores give commission to salesclerks, most have some sort of incentive or bonus program tied to what a particular salesperson sells on a given day. So being aware and sensitive to this is important. However, there is helping and there is true service.

Some salespeople must be repeatedly asked to look for certain sizes and express fatigue or irritation at the thought that they are there to help customers. These are not the folks whose names you need to give the cashier.

Other salespeople are superstars, checking in on you while you are trying on clothes without pestering, offering to find clothing in other sizes or styles, helping you put together outfits, etc. When you have such a person giving you such great service, do let the cashier know that person's name. He or she deserves to be singled out for her or his excellent attitude and efficiency and of course deserves to be compensated monetarily by management.

What Is Your Favorite Cheap Thrill?

The title of this post was ripped from a page in Lucky Magazine. Editors were asked what some of their favorite, inexpensive things were and the responses ranged from a McDonald's soft-serve vanilla ice cream to inexpensive Portuguese red wines.

Some of my favorite cheap thrills are going to the library and leaving with a bag full of books (cookbooks, novels, like-new $1 hardbacks, and interesting music CDs) and cute, long-lasting flip-flops from J. Crew.

What are yours?

Gap Jeans

Last week I spent an afternoon at the Gap, trying on their new 1969 jeans. Melissa was super helpful, finding all but one style (The Boyfriend) in my size and ferrying jeans to and from my dressing room. Did I like them? Yes. Was the denim similar to other premium brands' denim? Not quite. Did they fit? Some better than others. Would I recommend trying them on? YES!

Here are the different styles and my comments:

Perfect Boot: I liked the wide waistband and cute 2 button closure. The dark wash looked dressy and they were flattering from the back. These were as close to perfect as I got that day!

Sexy Boot: This one had a super low rise (not good on me with my long waist) and flattened out my bottom. Not pretty. Again, the dark fabric looked and felt good.

Real Straight: Indescribably bad on me. These would be good on a taller, leaner person who wanted to tuck them into boots.

Long & Lean: Inexplicably, I took a smaller size in this style. They had some distressed whiskering in the front and looked great from the back. I think it's funny that this style fit me as I am only 5' 4".

Curvy: I really liked the feel and leg of these though the pockets hit me low in the back. I am not very curvy.

Always Skinny: See Real Straight above.

The 1969 Jeans are definitely worth trying on, and I would suggest trying all the styles. Buying jeans in a current style is a foolproof way to update your wardrobe. My body shape (rectangle) did not match up with the style for which it was designed. Every pair but one was a bit big in the waist which is highly unusual for me. So give yourself time in The Gap--you may find your dream jeans there.

P.S. There are some super cute, reasonably priced T-shirts at The Gap these days!

Good-Bye to Longs

I have written before about Longs Drug Store and what a pleasure it has been to shop there. Now that my favorite drug store has officially become CVS I am devastated. What a completely different and dry, unsatisfying experience is is to go there now.

In the past, I could kill a lot of time going up and down Longs' aisles. Even if I just wanted to buy some fun lipstick, I would check out the stationery aisle, the shampoo aisle, and the wine aisle. I so, so loved the big section set aside for natural beauty products by Kiss My Face, Burt's Bees, Alba, and others.

Now that section, and the wonderfully informed woman who managed it, are gone. In its place are row upon row of cheap CVS brand products, and sterile, empty-looking shelves along every aisle. Ugh.

I never thought I would pine for a drug store. But I do.

How May I Help You?

An acquaintance at the gym walked up to me yesterday while I was on the Treadmill. She told me she was going on a trip and asked, "Do you offer packing services to your Wardrobe Wisdom clients?" Eager to line up an appointment I answered, "Yes, I do. When do you leave for Turkey?" As it turned out, she said she was going to pack herself, but she reminded me that people may not really know what specific wardrobe services I offer.

How may I help you?
Can I help you determine what clothing in your wardrobe is most flattering in terms of color and style, and what is outdated and does not make the most of your features?
May I help you figure out what clothing you will need for your new job, change in lifestyle, weight loss or gain, or move to a different city?
Can I help you shop for clothing and accessories, with you or on my own?
May I help you figure out ways to make the most of your current closet space?
Can I offer suggestions for storing and caring for your clothing and accessories?
May I help you select clothing for a special occasion or job interview?
Can I speak at a community event or organization you are involved in?

I think that covers everything--at least for now!

Considering Dresses

As you readers know, I love wearing dresses. However, many of my Wardrobe Wisdom clients find shopping for dresses to be a challenge. What suits them? How do they know what dresses will flatter their figure? What should they look for in a dress?

Today I came across a great blog post on how to shop for a little black dress, but all of the advice applies to dresses in any fabric color or print. Questions answered! Thank you, Cynthia Nellis at About.com: Women's Fashion.

From My Newsletter

Consignment Stores and Jewelry Events

Most of my favorite skirts and an unusual, beautiful necklace I own were purchased at consignment stores. Whenever I receive compliments on what I am wearing and tell people where I shop, they are baffled. I have learned that a lot of mystery and confusion surrounds such stores. For this reason, I am teaming up with Renaissance Consignment Store to demystifiy this form of shopping. In addition to getting a personal tour of their fabulous store, Renaissance experts will share their insiders' knowledge. I will also offer tips and suggestions for consignment shopping, and I'll talk about the value of having a "running" shopping list. You will have time to enjoy some refreshments and shop to your heart's content. The store will be open only for us! This special event will be on Wednesday, October 14, from 7-9 pm. Many of you know my fondness for Hammered Hoops jewelry. Over the years I have watched jewelry designer Rachel Kett produce beautiful hand-made gold and silver necklaces, earrings, and bracelets. Her jewelry is sold in various boutiques on the Central Coast. On Friday, November 6, I am hosting a Girls Night Out, where you can meet Rachel and see her superbly crafted line of jewelry while mingling with friends and enjoying lovely drinks and bites to eat. Mix and match chains, stones and styles to have her create the perfect piece for you or someone else (think early holiday shopping!). This lively event will be held at 5258 Rhoads Avenue, Santa Barbara, from 6-8 pm. Please let your friends know about these events and RSVP soon to one or both at 805.680.2640 or by emailing me at loricooper@wardrobewisdom.com.

A Surprising Read

Just when I was congratulating myself on not renewing my subscription to Harper's Bazaar, I came upon three insightful articles. How refreshing it was to find useful information after dozens of pages with outrageous-looking, pencil-thin models wearing preposterous clothing. I had a hard time relating those photos to Wardrobe Wisdom.

However, I enjoyed reading two pages describing clothing designer Alberta Ferretti's lifestyle and home. What caught my eye was this jet-setter's statement that she travels with only her "jolly pieces." She goes on to say, "You know, the outfit that always, no matter how tired or stressed you are, makes you feel better." What fantastic advice! We should all determine what clothing qualifies as "jolly" in our closet; then we should make sure to pack them when we travel; I would add that knowing what pieces make us feel extra good can lead us to put such clothing on when we need a lift. These happy pieces also remind us the qualities we should look for when we shop.

Another article, titled "What Your Clothes Say about You" gives a clear message in its subtitle: "Your Style May Be Sending All the Wrong Messages." Though it sounds superficial, "what we wear sends powerful signals." Furthermore, "now is always a good moment to fine-tune."

The article seeks the advice of designers, including Tory Burch and Michael Kors, but such experts are not necessary. What we need to consider when assessing each piece in our wardrobe are some basic questions: Does it fit? Is it current? Does it flatter my figure? Does it convey the current image I want to project? Remember: it's the current you, not the you of five or ten years ago, that your clothing can and will reflect.

What did not come as a surprise to me was the smart clothing philosophy of Christiane Amanpour. For this committed journalist who has traveled to and written about some of the most conflict-ridden places on the globe, a preoccupation with fashion is not part of her makeup. Instead of being fashion-obsessed, Amanpour has "crafted for herself something that can make life a lot less complicated: a uniform." She consistently wears clothing that works for her, knows what suits her and, importantly, what does not suit her. She says, "I don't look good in frou-frou. No puffs and no plunge."

Creating personal uniforms is what I suggest my Wardrobe Wisdom clients do. Once we discuss the client's lifestyle, clothing preferences, and budget, I help her or him put together go-to outfits. Having such staples makes getting dressed a breeze.

The lessons I learned while reading these three articles makes me question my decision about no longer receiving Harper's Bazaar every month. Perhaps I will peruse it at Chaucer's and buy it when other such astute articles appear.

Helpful Salespeople!!!!!!

On a recent shopping expedition I was pleased to find friendly, helpful salespeople at every turn. This makes the retail experience so much more pleasant. Instead of feeling like I was interrupting a personal conversation or phone call to have a dressing room opened, I received diligent, polite service--the way it should be!

At the Gap, a woman unlocked my dressing room, checked in on me every few minutes, and looked on the entire floor, including the back stock room, for a T-shirt I wanted. The cashier was equally cheerful and we had a nice conversation about necklaces before I left the store.

At the Swatch store, the manager was terrific. He let me try on a number of watches until I found the one I liked. Then he worked on taking links out of the band until it fit me perfectly. My friend was curious about some watches for her young boys, and he had a lot of suggestions and tips to offer. Not once did we feel rushed or pressured to buy anything.

We also went to J. Crew, where a quiet but very competent salesman brought me a beautiful pair of shoes in two sizes and some T-shirts that I was unable to find. He did not hover, but he did let me know he was there if I needed anything.

Stacy and I had a marvelous shopping day, largely due to the service we received. I am hopeful that this kind of service is becoming the norm, not the exception.

Gap Jeans

The Gap and its executive vice president of design, Patrick Robinson, are marketing the heck out of their new jeans line. Extensive, pull-out ads appear in several magazines this month. In a recent article in the Los Angeles Times, Robinson says about the new 1969 jeans, "And what we give them now is an even better [than more expensive jeans] rock-star butt -- at $59 . . . And that's Gap.". Hmmm. Seems like I need to get down to the Gap and check these jeans out, especially since my oldest daughter informed me that I have "a flat bottom."

Of course the Wardrobe Wisdom advice I give regarding jeans is to try several pairs on until you find ones that fit fantastically and make you feel good. This may take more than one shopping trip so allow time and be patient. You should also be open to tailoring the jeans if necessary. For example, if the jeans fit well everywhere save for a big waist, have some tucks taken in along the back of the waistband. While I am in love with my one premium pair of jeans, I still don't feel good about what I spent on them. Jeans do not need to cost a fortune to look great which is why I also own some wonderful, reasonably priced J. Crew jeans. Remember to buy two pairs, if your budget allows, once you find your dream jeans.

Fall Colors

Every season different colors are considered "in." Stores feature these colors prominently and salespeople often push them even if they do not flatter a particular customer. I won't get started on my pea green diatribe. (But why, oh why, did so many women try to wear that challenging color?)

The colors you will see in the stores from now until winter are featured in CAbi's blog, which is a good source of fashion information. Wear them as you wish, IF they look good on you. If you look pale and deathly in one of the colors but it still speaks to you, wear it on the bottom portion of your body, away from your face. Or choose shoes or a handbag in that color.

The (Almost) Perfect Shoe

I've been seeking the perfect pump for two years. All I want is one in a neutral shade, more on the pink than the yellow side, with a reasonable (1 1/2"-2 1/2") heel--and now for the tough part--this shoe needs to be comfortable. I envision myself wearing these pumps with skirts, dresses, and pants. They would elongate my legs and add a touch of elegance to my outfit.

As usual, J. Crew pulled through with my sartorial ideal. I tried it on over the weekend and fell in love. My friend and best shopping companion, Stacy, announced that they were "flawless." Yes, this was true except when I tried to walk a bit. They were not comfortable! Sure, I could wear them out to dinner or to do a talk, but could I stand on them for hours while working on a client's closet? No. Wardrobe Wisdom tells me that if they go on sale, I should snatch them up. After all, at a sale price, they would be worth having for certain occasions. However, for me to pay full price, they would need to be as comfy as the flip-flops I've been wearing all summer. I am hoping for a BIG sale soon.

A Happy Accident

While visiting family and friends in Orange County last weekend, I grazed a snazzy BMW with my vehicle. Damn! I hopped out of my car and looked the other one over. The only marks were a few horizontal ones where my white paint had met with the BMW's lovely gunmetal gray. I scribbled a note to the car's owner and left it on the windshield, cursing myself for being distracted while I was hunting for a parking spot.

The following day I received a call from Anita, thanking me for leaving the note and wanting me to meet her at a nearby car wash. She was hoping that the car washers could rub out the marks. Relieved that Anita did not seem angry, I explained the situation to my two daughters, and they looked confused but understood we needed to make a side trip on our way back to Santa Barbara.

At the car wash, I was met by friendly Anita. We began talking and I learned that she was the owner of a boutique in Newport Beach called Maison Saint Marie. When I told her that I was a wardrobe consultant, she began to describe her boutique and invited me to see it. At the end of our conversation, we learned that the car looked like new and she was pleased with the result. Whew!

I zipped down PCH and walked into Anita's store. What a gem! She carries one-of-a-kind gowns, cocktail dresses, gorgeous purses, and beautiful jewelry. Immediately I began thinking of clients who would be drooling over her wares and I am anxious to share my find with them. We both felt that our meeting was meant to be!

Sheer T-Shirts

I've been enjoying reading Audrey's blog, from Momgenerations.com. Her most recent post addresses the question of what to wear under sheer T-shirts, and I think her response is great.

I would like to add, to any designers out there, that women are getting tired of having to purchase additional foundations to wear under simple pieces like T-shirts. Yes, I get that you will sell more if women are compelled to layer everything from a tank top to a hoodie, but we do not appreciate your skimping on cost by using cheaper, thinner fabrics.

The White Top

I followed my own Wardrobe Wisdom advice yesterday and wore a white knit top that had been hanging, unworn, in my closet for over a year. Wearing it would tell me if I loved it and would wear it again, or if it did not feel right and needed to be given away.

Buying the top seemed like a no-brainer: I fall hard for spanking new white tops with their almost-blue color and their clean look. This one had a lovely v-neck and fell nicely over my bust and tummy. It was also a great deal--costing under $20. Why I had not worn it was made clear moments after putting it on yesterday. In short, it made me feel frumpy. When I arrived at my friend's house in the afternoon, I complained about my top, and she said, "Yeah, it doesn't really look like you."

So, once I wash this top, it will go straight into my donations bag or be given to a friend. Think of doing what I did whenever you look at but don't put on certain pieces in your closet. Wear them for a day, and you will either discover new things you love or insight into why those things don't work for you.

After writing this I offered the top to my sister-in-law. She put it on right away and looked darling. We were both happy!

Bras. Panties, and More!

On Monday, July 27, a number of women gathered after hours at Purrmision Lingerie. Miss Kitty, aka Melanie Doctors, is the owner of this fine local store and takes her work very seriously. Thank goodness because getting the right undergarments is serious business! She and her very efficient and knowledgeable bra fitter, Tiger, offered to fit my Wardrobe Wisdom clients and friends. Most learned they were wearing the wrong size and were thrilled to discover pretty bras that truly did their jobs.

Miss Kitty and I agree that building a bra wardrobe has a great deal in common with building your outer wardrobe: spend the most on the bras you will wear the most, in accordance with your lifestyle. For example, if you wear knit, body-skimming tops several times a week, invest in a couple of t-shirt bras, one in nude and one in a darker color.

We also talked about getting away from black bras. They tend to be the go-to item when we are wearing dark colors, but why not get a bra in red or bright green, or a beautiful purple? Why indeed? Putting such a lovely thing on first thing in the morning can and should be uplifting in every sense of the word. In fact, wearing great-fitting bras, underwear, and slips just make us feel good and we are SO worth it!

Riding Knickers

Whenever my husband is walking out the door in a questionable outfit, I tell him, "Please don't identify your wife as the founder of Wardrobe Wisdom." This plea is met with a chuckle and I feel a bit uneasy for the rest of the day.

The week before his birthday, a package arrived. When I asked him what it contained, he said, "Oh, it's a gift from Maryellen that I picked out." Minutes later he emerged from our bedroom, modeling his knew biking pants. Now, I have never been a fan of spandex riding shorts. Still, they are fantastic-looking compared to what met my eyes: black knickers. My husband fancies himself a retro-bike rider, and says he and his friends will ride their vintage bikes together, sporting their knickers and pocket watches. What on earth? When will they do this? On Halloween? How many guys are in his wacky riding club? My mind was filled with many more questions.

Yet in the end, I just sighed heavily and said I was glad I had kept my name when we got married. HELP!

Men on the Street

Bill Cunningham, my favorite photojournalist from the New York Times, shows how men are dressing in diverse ways as they head to work. His new "On the Street" video has great examples of different looks, from snazzy suits, to neat pants and vests, to white pants (!), and everything in between. I loved it!

Hats On

Bill Cunningham from the New York Times features hats in one of his recent video slideshows. He states that the streamlined, unembellished hats represent the simplified, paired-down fashion sensibility for these times.

Enjoy!

Thank You, Clinton Kelly

When I tell people what I do, they often respond, "You are like Stacy on What Not to Wear." Yes, I am sort of like Stacy, but I don't have a Clinton. I wish I did!



Stacy London's sidekick, Clinton Kelly, has an extraordinary new book called "Freakin' Fabulous" The subtitle to the book tells the reader what to expect: "How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else." With an irreverent sense of humor, often directed at himself, Kelly offers many of the same tips he gives to people on his show regarding how to dress. He covers the importance of fit first: "When a garment clings to some area of your body, it's like that body part is screaming, 'Look at me! Look at me! Do you see how I refuse to be constrained?' I, for one, don't want everyone staring at the 10 squishy pounds that have settled around my navel. That's why I avoid spandex muscle tees."

Kelly goes on to describe the concepts of proportion and appropriateness by giving detailed explanations and examples. His tips are spot on and his writing is just hilarious. I am delighted that he goes beyond clothing to tackle the subjects of proper speech, thank you notes, table manners, and how to be a polite guest anywhere. As a former English teacher, I am appalled by the way people talk and write nowadays. I am also appalled at the lack of civilized behavior I witness on a daily basis. I guess I am appalled quite often!

This book has it all since Kelly even provides recipes in his chapter "How to Eat." He stresses ways of making quality, delicious food and how to serve and eat it properly. My hope is that Clinton's vast audience and fan base will read his book and take his advice to heart. Imagine how much more pleasant our society would be!

White House/Black Market

When my friend Loren started working at the White House/Black Market in Paseo Nuevo Mall, in Santa Barbara, I dropped in more frequently. I was always impressed with the good quality of the clothing and the helpful saleswomen. On July 23rd I invited my Wardrobe Wisdom clients to an evening of shopping, refreshments, and a talk about wardrobe basics at the store. We had a swell night!

Most of the questions I fielded had to do with accessorizing. I talked about how such things as scarves and an interesting necklace can finish an outfit, making it look pulled-together and chic. I was happy to find some simple yet unusual silver hoop earrings that would go with any outfit. I was also taken with some fun patent leather, crocodile embossed wallets.

Of course, what I liked most was a darling denim jacket (above) that fit me perfectly. I am such a sucker for denim. But, taking my own wisdom to heart, I left it at the store since I already own two denim jackets. Such restraint!

Do You Have a Boredrobe?

One of my very fashionable (and linguistically gifted) Wardrobe Wisdom clients, Lorrie Thomas, of Web Marketing Therapy, coined a new term "boredrobe." Perhaps you have a boredrobe: a closet filled with neutrals, lacking any color. Or maybe your wardrobe is full of color but contains no current styles. A boredrobe can be a closet comprised of solids with no prints. On the other hand, some women go nuts with color then never vary it. I recently read an article about a woman whose entire wardrobe, every garment, every pair of shoes, every accessory, was turquoise. Now that is an extreme example of a boredrobe--if not to her than to everyone else!

If you feel a sense of boredom when you open your closet, it is time to take action. First, assess what you have that you truly like, that fits you, and that makes you feel great. Then think about how to liven those items up. Do you need to add color, accessories, something hip and fun, more texture, or some combination of the above? Look through magazines, identifying styles and outfits that appeal to you. When you shop, try to find similar looks, and try one or two out at a time. It can also be inspiring to look at online catalogs of stores you like, or stores where you know others, whose looks you admire, tend to shop.

I would be interested in knowing if you have a boredrobe and how you plan to turn change it. I am always happy to offer some tips!

A Sucker

How did it happen? How did I let an unbelievably pushy vendor at Paseo Nuevo talk me into parting with $50? Did my powerful hunger place me in a weakened state? Am I so vain that I responded to his incessant "You are beautiful!" exclamations? What happened?

On any given day, I dismiss offers to massage my hands, spritz my face with perfume, curl my hair, etc. with a quick and firm, "No thanks," while walking briskly away. Yesterday was an entirely different matter.

While my daughters looked on in speechless amazement, I let Mr. Pushy talk, talk, talk, and ended up buying some face cream I did not really need. When we finally walked away, my eldest stated, "You know, Mom, he probably calls every lady 'beautiful.'" So true!

What Wardrobe Wisdom could I glean from this unpleasant experience? I gained some insight into how my clients get talked into clothing that does not fit or flatter them. Regularly I hear, "Oh, this saleswoman told me I looked great, so I bought it." or "The saleswoman kept telling me how good the color looked on me, so I got the dress and the blouse." My clients regret paying money for things they realize don't suit them, and resent being lied to by sales staff. The Mr. and Miss Pushies out there prey upon any hesitation shown by a shopper and overwhelm him or her with compliments to close the sale. This is shameless and unethical.

What we as consumers can do, whether someone is hawking clothing or face cream, is think about our taste, style, budget and know what we do and do not need at any given time. Such knowledge increases our confidence and serves us well when the vultures appear. Oh, we should also always remember to eat before we shop. Always!

Men and Hair

My friend Lisa and I spent a terrific day at the LA Farmers Market and the nearby Grove. For a mid-afternoon break, we drank delicious slushy tea drinks while sitting in the sun. At the table next to us were two dudes in their late 20s. They were casually dressed and did not strike me as particularly fashion conscious. So imagine my surprise when another 20-something man walked by the guys' table, turned around, walked back, and asked one of the men if he could "take a photo of your hair with my phone since my stylist totally screwed up last time. I want hair like yours." Lisa and I were incredulous! At the same time, we gave the guy points for owning up to a bad cut and wanting to do something about it. My own husband just whines about his awful haircuts until they grow out.

I think it is a great idea to ask people where they get their hair cut, where they buy their clothing, and what stores they like. Inspiration for dressing well (and not so well!) is all around us. Learning the resources of those whose style we admire can be enlightening and useful.

What Shall I Wear Today?

Clearly this is not the most crucial question facing people around the globe. Other matters are far more pressing. However, since this is a wardrobe blog, I will pursue the topic of getting dressed on a daily basis.

This morning I opened my closet and stood there for 5 minutes, weighing my options. Looking outside at the gray, cool day, I imagined being cold in one of my cute summer skirts and tops. My fallback choice is jeans but they seemed too heavy for a June day. So I did something I've heard other women do: I chose an accessory and worked from there. This was a splendid solution to my dilemma.

Years ago I found a very cool belt at Melange Boutique. It is dark brown with a largish round silver buckle. The buckle is decorated with silver and blue. . . Oh heck, I will just take a picture of it.

Once I had chosen the belt, the rest of my outfit fell into place. I threw on a brown short sleeve v-neck T-shirt, my white jeans, and light brown wedge sandals. Since it was a bit nippy out, I topped my outfit with a denim jacket, too. Now that was easy!

Valentino and The World of Luxury

My mom and I saw the movie "Valentino the Last Emporer" this month. It was absolutely glorious. What an artist, a perfectionist, and a genius. Some of my favorite scenes showed his seamstresses hand-stitching incredibly intricate beading onto gowns. Anyone who likes clothing and has wondered what the true meaning of "couture" is must see this film.

Valentino's loss of creative control over the company he founded brought to mind a book I read last summer, "Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster." Journalist Dana Thomas states that "today luxury is simply a product packaged and sold by multi-billion-dollar global corporations that focus on growth, visibility, brand awareness, advertising, and, above all, profits." In addition to providing describing how designers' clothing is made and marketed today, Thomas lets readers know about the ugly world of counterfeit luxury goods. This book was a real eye-opener, and I wish more people would read it.

Fashion and the Recession

I am enamored with Kai Ryssdal's voice. He is the host of Marketplace on Public Radio International and though I don't always understand the finer points of the financial world, I can listen to his calm, reassuring voice all day. It helps that he does not take himself too seriously.

On June 11, he invited Kate Betts, editor of Time Magazine's Style and Design, to talk about fashion's reaction to the recession. He was baffled by the words, "poof skirts" but came to see that today designers are returning to classic, well-cut styles. I am encouraged to think that perhaps attempts to make women wear jumpsuits and stirrup pants are waning.

You can listen to the show by clicking on Marketplace and can read Kai's interview with Kate there as well.

Is This Still in Fashion?

When I am editing a client's closet, she will often hold up an article of clothing and ask, "Is this still in style?" When she is holding up a pair of Candies shoes from the 80s or an oversized boxy t-shirt, I quickly answer, "No. Let's get rid of it."

Sometimes, however, a client wonders about a piece that is not featured as prominantly in the magazines as it once was. Such was the case recently when a client asked about her pile of pashminas. She wondered if anyone still wore them. Now, according to Harper's Bazaar, a magazine I am finding more ridiculous by the day, pashminas are "out" and capes are "in." However, in my view pashminas have become a classic. They look lovely worn with everything from an evening gown to a T-shirt and jeans. Moreover, they provide warmth!

As long as something is in good shape and suits your personality and style, wear it! Do not fret about it being in or out of fashion if the article in question makes you feel good.

Try This!

This month I was fortunate to spend a few days with one of my oldest and closest friends, Stacy. We never run out of things to talk about and were sad to say good-bye.

She likes me to help her go through her closet when I visit, and I am always happy to oblige. This time Stacy asked me to help her put outfits together and to give her accessorizing ideas. I looked in her closet and was thrilled to see Stacy had added some color since the last time I visited. Warm tones look great on her and along with the creams, browns, and corals were now some beautiful bright blues.

I started with the basics she wears all the time, such as jeans, khakis, and white shorts and jeans. Then we pulled out some interesting tops and added a cardigan or we took a plainer top and added a fun belt or layered a couple of necklaces. I also made some suggestions for ensembles she had not tried before. We talked about a few pieces that seemed to be missing from her wardrobe and where she could get them. Finally, I went through her shoes, some of which gave us both a good laugh. Why, oh, why do we all hold on to some things?

Once we had finished up in her closet, we did a little shopping, and then worked her new pieces into her wardrobe. Stacy was delighted to find she had a number of new outfits and a couple of new styles to try.

Stacy's shopping habits have changed since I've been giving her some serious Wardrobe Wisdom. She has become a lot more thoughtful about her purchases, considering how often she would wear the item, if it fit perfectly or would fit perfectly when tailored, and if she really, truly needs what she is considering.

This is the kind of consultation I do quite often these days. My clients are very pleased when I inject new life into their wardrobe without insisting that an expensive trip to the mall is in order. Are you in need of an update? Let me know!

Cruising Longs

I could spend hours in CVS (formerly Longs) in Goleta. I like the store's wide, well-lit aisles, its vast inventory of products from Burt's Bees and other natural brands, the fun foods (amazing, very tasty eggplant relish in a jar), and all of the things I do not realize I need until I am there, cruising. I know a lot of people get this same little high from shopping at Costco, but I just get cranky and overwhelmed there.

Today a couple of friends and I passed some time at CVS. It was an educational experience. My friend, Sofi, was a font of information about cosmetics and natural beauty products. She knew almost as much as the wonderful woman who is in charge of that section.

After the makeup and haircare aisles, Sofi, Sunny, and I looked at toys, office supplies (one of my favorite aisles), and of course the stationery aisle. We were a bit rushed so could not cover the entire store.

While we were there I thought of one of my clever Wardrobe Wisdom clients. She always buys novelty purses at CVS. Of course they only last for one or two seasons at most, but they are trendy so it doesn't matter. Without fail her handbags and clutches are stylish and add some zing to her outfits. So when you have exhausted your search for bags at Ross and Payless, I suggest you hit CVS. See you there!

Our Closets, Ourselves

A very insightful article came out in the New York Times today, called " Tales from the Back of a Closet." In it, the author describes a wardrobe intervention her fashionable friend instigated. The author writes, "I’m haunted by the suspicion that there exists, in the depths of my closet, sufficient raw material to put together several attractive, fashionable outfits — if only I could jettison preconceived notions about how to wear what I already own."

I think "raw material" is a refreshing way to consider the basics in our closet. They are what I look for first when working with my Wardrobe Wisdom clients. Once we have established what basics are there and where the gaps are, we can play around with outfits. Not a session goes by that I don't hear, " I never would have thought of that. I love those things together!" A pair of objective eyes helps to see the possibilities for "new" outfits and looks.

So once you have identified the raw materials in your own wardrobe, get me (or a trusted, stylish friend) in there to suggest different ways to wear your clothes. Chances are you will be delighted with the results and you will begin shopping for clothing with a fresh outlook on your own style potential.

Bathing Suit Shopping

Hmmm. Should I shop for a bathing suit today or have a root canal? Given the choice, a majority of women would opt for the latter. Still, there comes a time when one must be strong and shop for swimwear.

Before setting out with the objective of finding something to wear at the beach or pool, keep the following in mind:
the mirrors in dressing rooms are notoriously horrible;
you will have more color and feel more comfortable in a bathing suit after the first few wears;
and finally, looking for a great-fitting and looking suit has never been easier.

Yes, it is true! From getting a custom-made suit right up the coast at the Bikini Factory in Summerland, to ordering one from Lands End after talking to their super helpful staff over the phone, anyone can find a bathing suit these days. Linda, who has been at the Bikini Factory for many years, is a fantastic swimwear specialist. Sure, it may not be fun, but it is definitely possible. Try J. Crew online, Nordstrom, and Athleta (a favorite) for a variety of terrific bathing suits.

Let me leave you with my own, real-life bathing suit story. I was at Macy's and was determined to find a suit that day. So I loaded my arms with at least 15 suits and took them into the dressing room. Because no salesperson was around to help me find my size or to suggest brands or styles, I was on my own. This became glaringly clear when the following nightmare ensued. After trying on each suit and becoming more and more exasperated and depressed, I decided to make one more round of the racks. Since I was pooped, I simply threw my black pashmina around my waist and wore a bikini top out of the dressing room. Heck, I thought, I will only be gone a minute.

Unfortunately, the door locked after me and there I was, half-naked with no salesperson in sight. I briefly considered trying to slip under the locked door, but I figured getting stuck would be worse than cruising around half-dressed at Macy's. After 10 minutes of searching in vain for someone, anyone to unlock my door, I located a salesgirl. She then had to page another saleswoman who had the key to the door. Tick, tock, tick, tock. When I at last made it back into my room, humiliated but more determined than ever to find a suit, I tried on the ones I had found with all the time I had had to peruse the racks. Eureka! I did find one that fit beautifully and covered me just where I wanted to be covered. I am pretty sure that Macy's sales staff was very happy to see me leave (fully clothed again).

Timeless Style for All

When working with plus-size clients, I direct them to a fabulous website: Gayla Bentley. "The Houston-based designer uses what she calls 'basic, but sassy' versatile pieces -- sized 2-28 -- that look great on real women's bodies and work well with women's hectic lifestyles." In short, Gayla understands what clothing women of all sizes want.

Today I came across a super article that references Gayla Bentley: "10 Secrets to Timeless Style" by Cynthia Nellis of About.com. The article includes photos and descriptions of how the looks come together and why they work so well. An instructive read!

Letting Go

When I am going through a client's closet and come upon a questionable garment, I do not shout incredulously, "Why on earth are you still holding onto that terrible shirt? It's outdated! It doesn't fit you anymore! It's just ugly!" These things are not said because we all have reasons for holding onto our stuff and the last thing I want to do is make someone feel defensive or ashamed about this very human impulse. The simple fact that someone has hired me to weed out a closet is an acknowledgment that he or she does not want to continue living in the past.

Sara Caputo, founder of Radiant Organizing, works with people ready to become more organized and teaches them how to be more productive. She works in all areas except wardrobes, but what she has to say about holding on to our belongings applies to wardrobes as well. I found one of her most recent blog entries on the topic of letting go extremely insightful and want to share it with you.

Yep, I Got a Girdle

I tried on a cute, simple jersey skirt the other day that I thought would be perfect for easy summer days. It is navy cotton with a rolldown waistband. When I brought it home, however, I realized that it showed every little imperfection. So now I am the owner of a Spanx slip which creates a beautiful, smooth appearance in any of my body skimming skirts. Thus I have completely nullified the whole "easy summer days" concept of skirt-wearing. When I was whining to my mom about wearing the Spanx girdle, I got to hear what girdles were "really like" in the 1950s and was told I had no idea what true discomfort meant. Oh well.

May Madness

Every year the Music Academy of the West holds a huge sale of furniture, clothing, and household items on its grounds in Montecito. Every year I have missed it until today.

As Jen and I sought a parking space, we saw women leaving the sale carrying a lot of plastic bags filled with stuff. I couldn't help noting the women's sizes and styles, hoping they did not snatch up things that would have fit me. My friend and I split up, meeting again at the Rack (the Music Academy's consignment store) an hour later. Yes, there were a lot of clothes: some were fabulous, a lot were not.

The pros really scored though. You could tell them by their focused vision, their aggressive method of going through the racks, and their cries of joy when they found a particularly great garment or accessory. You know what they say about one man's trash, right? This was the place to witness that truism to an extreme. I saw a sweater in a garish print my oldest daughter would call "pollution" and was just about to make a snide comment about it to my friend when a woman ran over to it, grasped it ecstatically, and paid for it without even trying it on. Wow.

I ended up finding a stunning pair of gray python pumps for a mere $25. My friend almost bought a vintage vinyl black purse but did not think it was worth the price. I watched a woman pay $45 for an Escada sequined top that was priced at $250. I am not sure how that happened, but when I raised an eyebrow at the buyer, she gave me a look that said, "Don't you dare say anything [to the clerk]."

If nothing else, May Madness is a fantastic people-watching venue and I imagine there were special things for sale the minute the doors opened. Maybe I will get there early next year.

Hem Mishap

My husband and I arrived at a fancy event the other night looking quite spiffy. I wore my lovely Nanette Lepore jacket with a gray pencil skirt and black pumps. Sadly, a mere 10 minutes into the event I noticed the hem was coming out of my skirt. It looked so tacky!

I panicked, sending my husband across campus to his office to fetch me some tape. Normally I carry Hollywood Fashion Tape wherever I go, but I had changed purses at the last minute and left it out. What a mistake! While the generic tape my husband handed me did the trick, it never felt very secure and I checked the hem throughout the evening. From now on, my tape will be with me at all times!

Shopping Local

Since I spend a lot of time shopping for my Wardrobe Wisdom clients, I get to see some special stores open their doors in Santa Barbara and then blossom.

One is Folio Paper Press Post, at 4437 Hollister Avenue. The owner is friendly and passionate about paper in its myriad forms: stationery, gift wrap, notepads, file folders, etc. But Folio offers a lot more: darling gift items for children, such as animal-shaped soaps and kitty lunch bags. You can also find lovely pens, wax stamping sets, fun novelty jewelry, gift bags, and so much more. I often find the perfect gift for a friend at Folio. It is a little treasure.

Another store I like is Lovebird Boutique and Jewelry, located at 535 State Street and 7 East De La Guerra. Both stores are small and carry clothing and accessories, some of which are designed locally. The prices are reasonable, especially at the De La Guerra store, and the clothing is fun and casual. On State Street, the clothing and accessories are a bit pricier but they are also orginal eye-catching. I liked the camisoles and caftans as well as the simple knit jersey skirts. The bathing suits from Brazil are a whole other matter. I am sure they fit like a dream, as the salesgirl insisted, if one were built like a young model. I simply smiled and said, "Not today," when she asked if I wanted to try one on.

Receiving friendly service is critical to shoppers. More than ever the salesperson's attitude makes me want to return to a store or never recommend or shop there again. I am happy to say that I will be shopping at Lovebird and Folio again and again. You should too!

Joy Work Club Conference!

On Friday, April 24, the first Joy Work Club Conference was held on the Central Coast. It was a huge success!

Women from Orange County all the way to San Francisco attended this all-day event designed to encourage communication and sharing between and among women. Jean Steel spoke passionately and humorously about ways to reduce stress. Superstar speaker and productivity specialist Sara Caputo talked about becoming more organized and productive. Gina Rae Hendrickson advised women to be more assertive, and I spoke about image and first impressions. On the panel with me were women who addressed the areas of web marketing, effective writing, and refining our elevator speech.

Throughout the day the attendees talked about how inspired they were by the speakers and how pleased they were about the content and flow of the day (not to mention the great food!) The question and answer session was especially well-received. At the end of the day, women left feeling smarter, more empowered, and ready to pursue some goals.

Finally a Match!

Shopping immediately following an appointment at the eye doctor is not advisable. Nonetheless, I did this and spotted, with my dilated eyes, what seemed to be a beautiful embroidered jacket. I asked Sally, my favorite saleswoman at Renaissance in Santa Barbara, "Is this a Nanette Lepore?" She laughed and said that it was, suggesting that I return the next day when I could actually see.

I did return and ended up buying the special jacket: It is dark gray with bright pink, yellow, and green flowers embossed on the fabric. There are five small, purple velvet bows down the front and the velvet wraps around the back giving the bodice some shape. Until recently, the one thing this jacket lacked was a compatible partner in my closet. So I broke one of my first Wardrobe Wisdom shopping rules: Make sure the item in question will go with at least 3 things you already own.

This lovely jacket has languished in my closet for months. I would try it on, sigh at its beauty, and hang it back up.

On Saturday I was cruising La Cumbre Mall with my daughter. She rolled her eyes as I entered J. Crew, knowing my tendency to spend a long time in that tiny store. We were supposed to be looking for a gift for my friend, but in the meantime I found a very simple, gray, brushed cotton pencil skirt. It would go with at least 10 things in my closet and was on sale so I snatched it up.

When I was choosing what to wear to a function that night, I put the skirt with the jacket and it was magic! They looked like they were meant for each other. Finally, a happy ending.