 I firmly believe that women learn how to wear makeup by the time they are 15. As I have stated before, I grew up in a beach community where my friends and I went clean-faced throughout our high school years. Therefore, my learning curve in terms of cosmetics has been pretty steep over the years. After receiving more than one department store makeover that left me feeling like a prostitute, I have finally learned what colors and kind of makeup look best on me. Finally, at age 45 I know where to buy my cosmetics and where I can get reliable advice. Phew! What I have yet to learn, however, is a brilliant way to store my makeup. The picture above is what I do now. It works okay and is not an eyesore, but I keep thinking there must be a better way. So I have been surveying my friends as well as my clients, and guess what? They are also challenged by how to keep their makeup accessible and neat. Several confessed to rooting around in a makeup pouch (usually a "gift with purchase") that can be very frustrating when they are rushing to get ready. I am curious: How do you store your makeup and makeup brushes and applicators?
 Since I love to read, it is always a pleasure to discover well-written, thoughtful articles. Calla Gold, jeweler extraordinaire has terrific advice on how to choose jewelry in relation to your face and body shape. I learned a great deal from these articles and hope you will enjoy reading them too!
 Whenever I spend time at my friend Stacy's house, we end up watching "What Not to Wear." Naturally, we constantly comment on the show, and are taken aback by a blunt comment from Stacy London (such as "You are the worst dressed person in the world."), or critiquing a dubious haircut given to a contributor. Mostly, we are impressed with the advice given by Stacy and Clinton Kelly, and we usually learn something.
I agree with Robert Lloyd, television critic of the LA Times, who wrote, "'What Not to Wear' works because it helps its subjects gain a new look and a new outlook." Reading this article reminded me why my Wardrobe Wisdom work involves a lot more than just shopping and dressing people. Kelly says it best: "This [What Not to Wear] wasn't just about wearing a pair of dark-washed jeans; it's about having the confidence to achieve your goals. I really believe that if you spend your life in elastic waistbands and hoodies and cross trainers worn as casual footwear you're not telling the world you're important, you're not telling the world you're paying attention; you're saying ignore me."
Many women I have worked with have spent years dressing to be ignored; I try to coax them out of this dressing mentality, encouraging them to pay attention to how they feel and look in certain things. Wardrobe Wisdom also teaches them how clothing can help them feel better when it fits them properly and works for their lifestyle. Focusing on images in magazines and on TV, images of women that are the result of stylists, personal trainers, lighting, makeup artists, etc. is a downer for all women. Instead, like "What Not to Wear" I encourage my clients to think deeply how "by changing your clothes, you can change yourself."
Whenever I listen to Marketplace on NPR I learn something new. Years of working in retail and working with my Wardrobe Wisdom clients has given me insight into people's shopping and returning habits. However, this segment on the latter--people who return and return and return--opened my eyes to a different kind of consumer.
As a follow-up, you may want to read or listen to this story on how retailers deal with returns.
I just watched Christian Siriano go through his closet, describing what he has in there, what he loves, why he bought certain things. His delight in his wardrobe is such a joy to witness. Watch it here.
I may have to go through my closet now, editing out anything that does not delight me. I think a "delight scale" can serve as a brilliant method for deciding whether to keep or say good-bye to something.
There are two very simple ways to look and feel terrific:
1. Stand up straight, with your shoulders back and your stomach held in. 2. Smile.
When I think about people I want to be around, people who seem to enjoy life and feel good about themselves, I've noticed they share the qualities of having good posture and smiling faces. I am not giving this advice with the idea that I have invented something new. However, I do know that if you are feeling glum about your appearance or are just low in general, keeping these two little things in mind will improve your mood and appearance immediately. No matter how impeccably dressed you are, it is your smile and posture that will complete your outfit.
My oldest daughter can be counted on to provide a choice word or two when I am getting dressed. She recently informed me that I had a "flat bottom." Ah, gravity. I know there are worse things, but her comment didn't really make my day. It did, however, cause me to re-evaluate my pant collection, with an eye toward keeping only those which gave me a good-looking backside.
When I work with my Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients, I stress the importance of looking at yourself from every angle when you are shopping and before you leave your house.
It seems that Levi's are taking all parts of a women's body into consideration with their newest styles. According to a piece I read in September's InStyle magazine, "With Levi's new Curve ID pairs, you can choose a style that is 'slight' (if you have a flatter, more boyish behind [like me!]), 'demi' (more curves behind), or 'bold' (for those with wider hips and a smaller waist." I am eager to try on Levi's new skinny, straight, and boot cuts. I only need to decide whether or not to bring my daughter along.
 Reading is one of my very favorite pastimes. When people ask me in amazement how I find time to read, I always wonder how they cannot find time to read.
On Sunday, November 28 in the Los Angeles Times' Image section, an entire page was devoted to this year's slew of fashion books. Some of the books highlighted are visual feasts, made to be placed on a coffee table. Others were written as advice books on how to dress more stylishly, and still others focus on a particular designer, such as Anna Sui.
One book on this list that interests me is "Bespoke: The Men's Style of Savile Row." Learning why "Savile Row, a small street in London, that's known globally as the epicenter of men's tailoring" is sure to be fascinating. I am easily taken in by tales of experts in any field, artisan cheese makers, master woodworkers, and of course, master tailors.
Another book which I'd like to read is "The World's Most Influential Fashion Designers." Even though I am much more of a clothing person than a fashion person, I appreciate that each leading designer has come to her or his aesthetic via unique avenues. I love to learn what inspires designers, who are truly artists, to create.
Reading about new books made me cast a glance at my own Wardrobe Wisdom bookshelf. Here are at least 30 books about fashion and style. Sometimes I use them as reference books, for when I want to know what the best way to store scarfs is or or what belt to wear with what dress for a large framed woman. At that time I turn to Kendall Fararr's "The Pocket Stylist" and "Style Evolution," Nina Garcia's "The Style Strategy" or "The Lucky Shopping Manual." Then there are those that I read for pure pleasure, such Clinton Kelly's "Freakin' Fabulous," and Linda Grant's "The Thoughtful Dresser."
I encourage you to check out the fashion section of your local bookstore (Chaucer's if you live in Santa Barbara!), and see what books strike your fancy.
Bruce Springsteen knows what works for him. For decades he has worn jeans with a T-shirt or jeans with a dark or plaid shirt. I am guessing he does not spend time agonizing over what to wear each day yet without fail he looks comfortable and ruggedly handsome.
Today it is nippy outside, and I need to get ready to run some errands. Sure, I can stay in my gym clothes, but I feel pretty icky and unpresentable. As my mom would say, I look slovenly.
What will be comfortable and make me feel good? My favorite pair of jeans, a white t-shirt, my new green pullover, and black ballet flats. Of course some simple accessories will complete the outfit, so I add my silver belt, small diamond earrings, and a pretty silver necklace. Ah, just right! What is your "go-to" outfit? We all need at least one to make getting dressed a breeze.
My friend Kim invited my family over recently for some apple cider and pumpkin bread. I was looking forward to seeing her house, knowing she had bought a fixer-upper last year and had no doubt used her considerable decorating talents to make it beautiful.
I was not disappointed. Her house is darling and her flair for repurposing and adding just the right finishing touches were impressive. Yes, I was ready to move in!
When we got to her bathroom, though, she told me it would not feel complete until she found a certain shower curtain. She then showed me her "vision book" which was filled with pictures of everything from throw pillows to window coverings. Kim is on a mission to find a striped curtain in blues and browns that will tie the bathroom's decor together. Once I saw the photograph, I immediately understood her vision.
Collecting photos of items we like or even scraps of materials or things from nature helps us to discover and define our tastes, inspires us, and makes us more discriminating shoppers. A folder containing pictures of kitchens I like keeps me from wandering like a zombie down every aisle in Home Depot. My "Clothing I Love" notebook reminds me what styles I like best, what suits me, and what I am looking for. And the bulletin board in my office reminds me why I started Wardrobe Wisdom and what I want to do with my business.
My husband knows that when a Miles Kimbell catalog arrives at our house, I will be reading it aloud that night. Where else can you buy a spiral weight loss ring, head massager, or a gel cervical collar?
I marvel at the people who thought of these contraptions and went to the trouble to have them manufactured. And I am grateful for those who figured out some sensible ways to store jewelry. Some of my favorites are the acrylic jewelry holders. I have already raved about the necklace one in a past blog post, but there are also clever holders for earrings and bracelets. I promise you will be captivated by this catalog and will find things you never knew you needed but now must have. Enjoy!
When I was in my teens, my mom took me to the Fashion Academy in Santa Ana, where I spent the day having my colors done and received tips on makeup and hair. I have thanked my mom many times for this experience as it has saved my countless dollars since I know what colors work on me and skip buying those that don't. Most importantly, my clothes coordinate beautifully which cuts down a lot on time spent getting dressed.
There are several websites that offer color consulting services, and I always take their tests to see if their analysis matches what I know (I am a winter which means I look best in cool, blue-undertone colors). A new site, jillkirshcolor.com, intrigues me and I encourage you to try it out. Her method for color analysis relies exclusively on hair color. The site I find to be the most accurate in determining what colors suit different people is Color Me Beautiful as it takes both eye and hair color into consideration.
Most people know what colors they feel best in and what colors flatter them. But it gets hard to stay on track when designers choose new hip colors twice a year and then inundate the stores with those shades. Of course there are women who don't give a hoot about what colors work for them, and wear whatever color suits their mood or matches a piece of clothing they love. While I do notice (I can't help it) that they would look better in teal than bright red, they look happy and confident, and in no need of a Wardrobe Wisdom intervention!
 For nearly 3 years I have been on a quest for a pair of brown pumps. Could that description be more banal? Perhaps not, but I am telling you, it is not so easy to find good looking, comfortable, stylish, brown shoes. Even wonderful Jenelle at Nordstrom could not locate the ideal pair for me. But now I have found them. Too bad they are $425. Really. But they are perfect and since I discovered them, I have become an even more discriminating shopper. These dream shoes are made by Anyi Lu and are sold at Souliers in Montecito. They are visually stunning, in beautiful patent leather, with hand sewn ribbon around the front, and a gorgeous python covered wedge heel. In terms of workmanship, the shoes were handmade by extremely skilled (and I have to think proud) shoemakers. The fit was unbelievable: I felt like I was wearing my gym shoes. Not one part of my foot felt pinched or strained. I think I could have worn them all day. . . were it not for their steep price. I have been thinking of these shoes often. Since much of my work at Wardrobe Wisdom involves shopping, I have been in a lot of stores since discovering the Anyi Lus and find that no other shoe compares. Looking even more closely at the workmanship in shoes and clothing has left me a bit depressed. I understand about paying for high quality, but I don't understand why an expensive dress has bits of thread hanging from the bottom, or why a designer handbag is unevenly dyed, or why a factory made scarf costs $200. So I am holding out for exceptional, awe-inspiring pieces to add to my wardrobe. Like those dreamy shoes. I think all of us would spend a lot less in the end if we raised our standards.
 This summer I wrote about my cousin's husband and his ability to pull off wearing a satchel without looking like a goofball. After promising me months ago to send photos of his entire satchel collection, this photograph arrived via email the other day. I am aware of the strange inclusion of the pink balloons in the photo. My attempts at cropping the picture were clearly unsuccessful. I like to read the blog Put This On and appreciate its take on the expression "man purse" which I have used (but will now stop using!). I also like the blog's response to a man's question about where to store his cellphone, keys, etc.
Men, take note of this man's brilliant ensemble. Note the interesting shirt, plain tie, and smart, classic jacket. This idea can be your model for many an outfit.
Women, this is an easy way to think of getting dressed: fun, colorful, and/or patterned piece (could be an accessory), simple shirt and skirt or slacks or simple dress, or tailored dress. . . Getting dressed can be a snap!
  I just finished going over In-Style.com's recent list of "Ten Things Every Woman Must Own." These lists tend to baffle me, since they rarely take into account different women's style, body shape, or budget. So I read them with a grain of salt and advise you to do the same. One of the things I took issue with is the list's inclusion of red flats. I do like red, but when I had red shoes a few years ago, they were rarely worn. While red flats may not be for me, having a colorful shoe (or two) is a must have. I recently worked with a client to help her put outfits together and update her look. At one point she pulled a pair of neglected yellow strappy sandals from the back of her closet. Looking at them she said wistfully, "I've always loved these but never knew how to wear them." Before she knew it, we created several outfits that dazzled with that pop of shoe color. Think of a color you love, and how shoes in that color can add interest to your current wardrobe. I have a pair of green suede slides that look great with a remarkable number of things. Pink, blue, orange, yellow--any bright color can rejuvenate your look. (The shoes pictured are from Bodenusa.com--a favorite site of mine).
 From Elegance by Kathleen Tessaro, "Suddenly seized with panic at the idea that she will be the centre of attention, she wonders in anguish, "Whatever shall I wear?" How many of you have panicked when you realized you had nothing to wear to an important event, and then you shopped and purchased an outfit you've come to regret? Many hands go up! You are not alone. I get called regularly by my Wardrobe Wisdom clients to help them avoid that kind of shopping. What you want in the end is to feel attractive and appropriate, no matter the occasion. Naturally the first thing to do when you commit to an event or outing, is to consider the dress code. Once you have a handle on what the dress code means (even if it states something bizarre like "cocktail casual"), decide what you would feel comfortable in. Then go into your own closet and look for something appropriate. This may mean wearing something you have and purchasing a top or skirt to go with it or maybe some shoes or accessories. When you shop for the rest of your outfit, be sure to bring the parts you already have with you. That is the only way to make sure your ensemble will truly work. If you do have nothing appropriate for the event, consider borrowing something from a friend. I am always happy to loan my clothing out to friends, and they are kind enough to take care of and have the item cleaned before returning it. You can also try renting an item from sites such as Rent the Runway. I have spoken with clients who have had tremendous success with using this service. Perhaps you do need to buy something entirely new. Lucky you! If you like them, start at consignment stores, as you can often get some fantastic deals on lovely dressy clothes. Then hit places you have done well with in the past. Call those stores beforehand and ask if they have what you are looking for, and have them put it on hold for you to make your shopping experience more efficient. You can always call me once you determine you need a specific item. One of my favorite things is to shop for special occasion wear. In addition, I'll repeat the little known secret that Nordstrom and Saks Fifth Avenue have personal shoppers that will help you without any obligation on your part to purchase anything. I have known women who have spent thousands of dollars in a rush to buy something, anything. This rarely leads to wise purchasing but often leads to buyer's remorse. If you simply must purchase something in a hurry, by all means go to a place like H & M or Forever 21. You may not find your dream outfit, but you will not spend a fortune either.
    A friend of mine makes very pretty jewelry and asked if I wanted a pair of earrings to go with the necklace she created for me. I answered no since I don't regularly match my earrings with other jewelry. She was surprised, wondering what on earth I could wear with different necklaces or bracelets. Here are my answers: 1. Pearl stud earrings (in white, pink, black, or gray) 2. Simple hoops (large or small, in silver, gold, or two-tone) 3. Diamond studs (in a size you like, and of course they don't need to be genuine). I wear ones my daughters gave me from Claire's all the time. Think of the above earring options as neutrals that will complement any other accessories you wear. They won't take attention away from or compete with other jewelry, and they complete your ensemble.
 Some people seem to think that showing an interest in clothing marks them as superficial or somehow not too bright. They go so far as to insist that fashion and style are not their concerns. Mickey Drexler, C.E.O. of J. Crew recently stated, "A lot of people like to think they're not interested in clothes, and yet they are likely preoccupied or even vexed by their own." I like his use of the word "vexed." By the time people call me, they are ready to acknowledge that they are vexed by their clothing. They usually have a lot of it, but do not know what suits them or their current lifestyle. These clients are not shallow or dim-witted. On the contrary, they are sharp for realizing they need help in this area of their life and are wise to ask for it. Since it is not socially acceptable to run around naked, why not look our best? My mission in Wardrobe Wisdom is to help men and women dress well and feel good in their clothing. I do not, in the style of Clinton and Stacy, bring a huge trash can into the clients' closets and make disparaging remarks while chucking their beloved clothing into it. Instead, once the clients and I have discussed a typical week in his or her life, established what their clothing budget is, and clarified what image they would like to project, I thoughtfully look through their wardrobe. Usually, they have some sense about what pieces work and which ones need to go. By the time our sessions are over, the clients have a clear sense of what clothing does and does not flatter them, what pieces can round out their wardrobe, and how to dress for different parts of their lives. They feel more relaxed and happier about getting dressed. So do not confuse superficiality with a desire to look great and feel confident. I have seen it time and time again: working from the outside in can have a huge, positive impact on our lives.
 A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of getting a behind the scenes tour of the big Alpha Thrift store in Old Town Goleta. As a result, I feel better than ever about donating to and shopping at this amazing place. Here are some facts I learned that day from its FAQ sheet: - Alpha Resource Center was established in 1953 by three moms of children with Down's Syndrome. - Alpha provides family support and advocacy throughout the entire County of Santa Barbara, with offices from Santa Barbara to Guadalupe. - 100% of the net proceeds of the stores go directly to supporting services. - Alpha serves approximately 1,200 families and 95 adults with developmental disabilities in South County and provides social/recreation services for 53 teen and young adults and provides support for 485 individuals through the advocacy and wellness program. And here are some remarkable things I learned during the tour: - The stores get 200 customers per day. - 70% of things in the stores get sold and the rest get recycled or re-purposed. - The stores have several loyal, long-term employees. - Alpha Resource clients often work in the stores, which gives them life skills and builds their self-confidence. - 400 garments go in and out of the store each week (!) - It is the place to go for Halloween costumes. If you would like to go on a tour of the thrift store or Alpha Resource Center, and I highly recommend you do, call Marisa at 805-683-2145, ext. 105 or email mbourke@alphasb.org. This organization is a true gem in our community.
P.S. Alpha Thrift is the place to get beautiful men's ties--for a song!
 I attended a panel discussion the other day and tried, as always, to gain at least 3 insights during the event. What struck me most was, unsurprisingly, how the panel members' clothing said a lot about them. The two women on the panel were in suits, a style that is not my personal choice, but which can have a strong, positive impact. They were equally smart, articulate, displayed a good sense of humor, and thought quickly on their feet. Their sharp, well-tailored suits, simple yet attractive make-up and nice hair styles matched their confidence and mastery of their topic. On the other hand, the male speaker, who started with a suit jacket but quickly discarded it, left a negative impression on me. In fact, I still have no idea what his job or area of expertise is. He spoke in technical terms without defining them, and did not always address the audience's questions in his responses. His jeans and untucked dress shirt told me he was just dialing it in--he was not serious about the panel. Now, had he been an incredibly good and engaging figure, I don't think his clothing would have mattered as much. But his loose manner mirrored his too-casual dress. Clothing does make an impression. It is always better to be over than under dressed.
I am always acutely conscious of my appearance, knowing I represent my Wardrobe Wisdom motto "Dress Your Best, Everyday." So it was with some reluctance that I changed shoes over the weekend. My family and I set off in the afternoon for Santa Barbara's Seafood Festival. It was a warm day so I wore a sundress and some chic metallic studded sandals. However, once we parked far away from the event, I reconsidered my choice in footwear. The sandals are stylish but not super comfy. Fortunately I keep a pair of super comfortable yet not so attractive flip flops in the back of the car for wardrobe emergencies (like the time I sped off to book group in my slippers). In the end, function won out over form and I changed into the flip flops. Sure, it somewhat ruined the fetching effect of my dress, but my feet were very happy and I could truly enjoy the day. By the way, comfortable and attractive shoes do exist! Look at UGG (not just their boots), Born, Me Too, and Sofft.
 This is what I hear frequently when I tell women what I do. My answers to them, which are said gently, are as follows: But what about now? Don't you want to look and feel good while you are losing weight? What if it takes awhile? Is it motivating to wear sloppy clothing you don't feel good in? How about re-working the wardrobe you have now, in preparation for your weight loss? We can spruce up some pieces and edit out ones that do not match the new future you. During my rounder days, I remember getting very bummed when I saw clothing in my closet that no longer fit me. I also remember shopping for cute things that fit me and made me feel good. When I lost weight, I had some of those cute clothes tailored. I have said it before, and I wish I could take credit for making this up, but it bears repeating: Your closet should not be a museum nor a hope chest.Embrace who you are now, and value that person enough to have clothing that reflects your self-worth positively. And last, but definitely not least, if you are someone who is plus-size and healthy, it is far better to stay that size than let your weight go up and down. You can dress very well, honoring your full figure!
 Last night I attended a friend's jewelry party featuring handmade, bespoke jewelry by Kara Crisp. I was so impressed by her personal investment in each piece; she described how she gets her ideas and how she chooses each stone and pendant. I ordered the lovely bracelet above, in silver. Adding an unusual accessory to an outfit completes your ensemble and makes it shine. I like this from Elegance by Kathleen Tessaro: "Jewellery (sic) is the only element of an ensemble whose sole purpose is elegance, and elegance in jewellery is a highly individual matter. . . One thing, however, is certain: an elegant woman should never indulge her fancy to the point of resembling a Christmas tree dripping with ornaments."
 It was so easy not to buy a purse earlier this week. I had a clear picture in my mind of what I wanted. Well, what I really wanted was the purse I foolishly did not buy in France this summer. Aside from that, what I was looking for was a leather purse in a blue between navy and royal, small to medium in size, with not too much silver-toned hardware, pebble grain, with no logos, and for a moderate price. Really, was I asking too much? When I went shopping for my purse I gave the saleswomen the above description, and though I could sense their eyes rolling behind my back, I stuck to my vision. They showed me a number of lovely purses, but none were just right. So, I saved myself money by not purchasing one. . . until the next day when I found the perfect purse (if only the straps were thicker). Jeez I am picky! Seriously though, I could have bought another bag during these 3 months I've been looking, but I would not have loved it. I would have longed for the bag and would have continued to troll the handbag departments of stores. It is like when you order something in a restaurant and then, thinking you could have ordered something better, you look at all the food passing by your table and then covet your dining partner's meal when it arrives. Maybe I am the only one who does that. My point is that by being particular and specific about what you want, you do not settle for less, and in the end, you are very content with your purchase.
When I was in high school during the 1980s "The Official Preppy Handbook" was extremely popular. It was written as a joke, satirizing the WASPs and their world. It led the way to a whole preppy movement in clothing. However, since I grew up in Newport Beach, dressing preppy was not a passing fad. People had been dressing conservatively there for decades. At any given event, I saw my friends, our classmates, and their families sporting button down and polo shirts, oxfords, khaki pants, seersucker jackets, Lily Pulitzer dresses, twin sets, and other preppy looks.
So when I heard that the sequel to "The Official Preppy Handbook," called "True Prep" was coming out, I was curious. An interest in the Mad Men style, along with strained economic times has prompted designers to promote a more simple, streamlined, classic style. Cardigans, longer skirts, jackets, and well-cut men's suits are everywhere right now.
Meghan Daum's article in the Los Angeles Times on September 9, titled "A Preppy Guide for Hard Times" maintains that a message deeper than how to dress can be gleaned from the new book. I am going to quote a long passage at the end of her article because I could not paraphrase it better: "Perhaps preppiness is less about demographics and style than it is about living decently in an often indecent world. As stuffy and elitist as its preoccupations can be, preppiness at its core is ultimately about self-respect. It's about pulling your pants up. It's about being able to come up with an acceptable answer when asked what book changed your life. It's about knowing that you don't necessarily need to have money to have class."
I am all for promoting self-respect and displaying integrity and class. If adopting a more preppy or conservative way of dressing leads people down that road, hooray!
 
Some of you may have received an unfinished post about pantsuits that I sent instead of saving. Sorry for any confusion!
Now that I have ridded my closet of pantsuits, am I terribly out of style? Fashion journalists everywhere are stating a must-have item for fall is a pantsuit. What is a woman to do?
Fortunately for me and the other women out there who have never enjoyed wearing a pantsuit, there are alternatives. What you are looking for is an outfit that exhbits confidence and seriousness: You mean business. Here are ensembles I wear when a pantsuit would be appropriate:
1. Trousers, simple blouse, with or without a tailored cardigan;
2. Pencil skirt, simple blouse, with or without a tailored cardigan;
3. Pencil skirt and classic twinset;
4. Trousers and classic twinset; and
5. Simple, classic dress in a solid color with a jacket or tailored sweater. Or a sweater dress in a solid color.
See, there are things to be worn in lieu of a pantsuit. Wear a solid blouse in more serious environments; otherwise a print is fine. None of us need to invest in a brand new pantsuit as there are other options. Phew!
P.S. All these looks are from Talbots.
So many women over the years have asked me, usually with a heavy sigh, how on earth they can get their husband, fiance, or boyfriend to get rid of some clothing and consider different styles. I do have some advice for those women, as I can completely relate to their wishes and struggles. In general, men develop their look after college or once they've established themselves in a career. Then they tend to sort of wash their hands of the entire building a great wardrobe idea and just buy the same sorts of things repeatedly, year after year. Their look does not evolve with the times and they are sometimes pretty prickly when their partner suggests an update.
When I moved in with my then-fiance, I remember spending a couple hours going through his wardrobe. He knew me well by then so was not surprised at my eagerness to engage in a bit of Wardrobe Wisdom. Still, he had an excuse for keeping every absurd, outdated, ill-fitting garment in his closet. Oh, the baggy, ugly patterned harem pants! Oh, the skinny knit ties! Oh, the fanny packs! I remember laughing a lot and him finally going along with my suggestions to chuck several things. Still, he held onto those pants and one of the fanny packs for awhile!
Today he asks me for wardrobe advice and allows me to do most of his clothes buying. Over the years he has come to appreciate my motto (thanks to Tim Gunn) of buying once and buying well. When he received a promotion recently, we talked about how this meant dressing for his new position, and he finally purchased a beautiful dark suit and some timeless gray slacks. He would much rather spend his money on Apple products or bikes, but he does see the value of dressing well.
I am not suggesting that you laugh uproariously at your partner while going through his closet. My husband was an exceptionally good sport. What I do suggest is that you show him some pages from current men's magazines or clothing catalogs that you like, telling him how handsome and dashing he would look in similar clothing. Let him know you are delighted to do all the shopping (or let me or a personal shopper at Nordstrom do it for you) and slowly introduce a few new items into his closet. At the same time you may, very gently, ask him if you can box up some of the outdated items he no longer wears (or shouldn't be wearing!). Assure him these things are not being eliminated, just moved out of the closet to make room for clothes that look great on him NOW.
I have had to be patient with my husband, mentioning a shirt or sweater I saw that would look good on him, or suggesting he get rid of some things he no longer wears. Sometimes he gets defensive and wears things I don't favor, such as his riding knickers, but overall I have seen his confidence grow as his style has evolved. He feels good in his clothing. So have courage, women, and don't give up!
I enjoyed reading a recent Style Bakery post which included a descriptive list of the fall trends along with photos. As usual, I advise that you think about your personal style, your lifestyle, and your body shape before jumping on each fad bandwagon. You don't have to participate in all or any of them! But getting a few new items on this list can refresh your fall wardrobe. I'll go through their list, giving my two cents on how to wear them.
1. Leather Jackets: If you like wearing jackets and feel good in leather, go for it! A leather jacket can add an edgy look to any outfit and looks good with almost anything.
2. Camel: This is THE color this season, from beautiful wool coats to suede skirts. What is wonderful about camel is its versatility: the color complements all other colors. However, camel does not complement all skin types. If you look good in warm tones, such as gold, rust, cream, and brown, go ahead and wear camel close to your face. But if you are like me, and look better in cool, blue tones, relegate camel to the lower half of your body or in accessories.
3. Military Chic: This means double breasted jackets with brass buttons, epaulets, cargo pants and lace up boots. If you are heavy on top, skip the double breasted jackets. This look can quickly go over the top, resulting in strangers saluting you on the street, if you add more than one military element to your outfit.
4. Animal Prints: Here they are again! I am not sure we can still call this a trend since it's been appearing for about 4 years now. This year it seems leopard is all the rage. I like it in accessories but there are a lot of cute dresses out there this year as well. If you are petite, keep the prints small.
5. Faux Fur: When I went to London 20 years ago, I had to borrow a friend's ratty fur coat during an unexpected snow storm. I remember being yelled at and spit on for sporting fur. Not fun! Faux fur, on the other had, is a fun, whimsical trend that I think will not result in your being spat upon.
6. Minimalism: Think simple shapes and lines, in neutral colors. There are a lot of dull grays, beiges, and taupes out there this season. Starting with a minimalist look leaves a lot of room for having a good time with interesting accessories.
7. Lace: If you like a romantic look, add a bit of lace to your outfit via a shirt collar, cuffs, on a hat or shoe, or as an embellishment on your bag.
8. Jewel Tones: They are here again. If you look good in cool tones, have fun wearing sapphire blue, ruby red, emerald green, and purple. If these colors do not flatter your skin tone, wear bright yellows or saffron or wear the cool tones in the form of accessories or away from your face.
9. Longer Skirts: While I am ecstatic that the super short skirts are largely gone this season, I am fretting a bit over the long skirt trend. Most women's figures benefit from a skirt at or just above or below the knee. A longer skirt can make a petite woman look stumpy and will cut off others' lean lines. So, if you opt in to this trend, you need to wear a higher heel along with something fitted on top.
10. Capes and Ponchos: Well, why not? They can be cozy and cute, worn with jeans or trousers. The runways have been featuring models in tailored pants, heels, and camel-colored capes. If you feel too Nanny and the Professor in a cape, skip this trend.
11. Chunky Knits: Another cozy and cute option as the days get cooler.
12. Pant Suits: Did these ever go out of style? I guess the emphasis has been on skirt suits recently, but pant suits are always around. You know if you look good in and like this style, so now is the time to take advantage of its abundance in stores right now.
13. Wide Leg Pants and Menswear Trousers: I keep seeing these and think they look best on a tall woman. Petites can get lost in all that fabric and draping. Still, menswear trousers can look smart if they are tailored well and are worn with a more feminine top.
14. Metallic Gold: Actually all metallics are still around, from tops to belts, to shoes, to purses. I like metallic and think a flash of it can instantly update a stale look.
15. Boots: Booties, over the knee (really!), cowboy boots, riding boots. . . Take your pick.
I hope you have a wonderful fall! Let me know if you would like help incorporating some of these looks into your current wardrobe. It's one of my most requested Wardrobe Wisdom services.
 An acquaintance of mine was talking about her closet and how she had made it the centerpiece of her bedroom. She is an interior decorator so I assumed she would have done this with flair. However, I was unprepared for the incredible photo she sent me. I am envious!
 Most of my posts concern women's wardrobe issues. However, I have plans to do some short videos aimed at men and their clothing concerns. The videos on an excellent blog called "Put This On." are very inspiring. My favorite parts of the videos are called "Rudiments," where a guy briefly covers a clothing basic, such as what kinds of shirts should be tucked in or left untucked. Check out the video on denim. It has some valuable tips for both men and women. However, I am still trying to make sense of paying $500 for a pair of jeans even though I've watched the video twice! Why the George Clooney photo? He is always well dressed, looks gorgeous in a tux or jeans, and well, I just think he is cute.
 I love a bargain as much as the next shopper, but before making a purchase, even if it is a screaming deal, I ask myself the same questions I ask when buying any clothing: Do I love it? Does it flatter my figure? Will it go with other things I already own? These questions went through my mind when I considered a darling 5 euro skirt at a Paris flea market. I walked by the rack 3 times before I finally pulled out the skirt. Then I held it up to me, and then when the women said I should just try it on, I abandoned all modesty and slipped it under the skirt I was wearing. It fit beautifully! When I learned the price I was even more thrilled. I did love it, and I did purchase it!
 Oh, I love a good closet purge, my own and others'. So after a recent morning spent editing my wardrobe I had to ask myself the same questions I ask my clients, "Why was I continuing to store certain items in my closet for years that I neither liked nor wore? What was my attachment to these things?" On the surface, I could see that these pieces were all good quality and were classics. So, I supposed I kept them since they maintained their shape and color, and they would never go out of style. Still. . . I never wore them! But how could I get rid of a perfectly fine black suit? I regularly list a black suit on my clients' must have lists; it's a wardrobe staple. But in whose wardrobe? I do not work in a conservative office that requires me to wear a suit. I do not feel comfortable or stylish in a suit. Instead, when I think of myself in a suit I feel constrained and uptight. So how about those nice tailored blouses? My husband loves that look. And he does look smashing in a tailored shirt! I, on the other hand, feel like a matronly party-pooper when I wear such tops. Once I had identified why I had kept the items and why I did not wear them, it was easy to pull them out of my closet and take them to Job Smart at the Unity Shoppe. I know someone else will get good use out of them. Take the time to focus on items in your closet that merely take up space. If you neither like nor wear them, it's time to purge! You will feel great afterward.
 I often get asked about accessory storage by my Santa Barbara Wardrobe Wisdom clients. What matters is that you can see your accessories and that they are protected from the damaging elements of air and moisture. My friend, genius time and space organizer Sara Caputo (of Radiant Organizing) recently blogged about ways to store jewelry. She shows what a fellow professional organizer has done with her own jewelry. I think these are clever solutions to storage dilemmas. Click here to read Sara's post. I like the storage trays at Lillian Vernon (pictured above).
Last weekend I fled my chaotic, flooded house and visited my great friend Heather in San Luis Obispo. After eating at the magnificent and unusual Granada Bistro, we shopped. By far my favorite boutique was Trio. The owner makes her own pretty jewelry and designs wonderful clothing as well. Trio carries other lines of clothing and some truly beautiful wedding and baby gifts. Here is what I look for in a small boutique: Excellent, personal customer service--no pushy salespeople; A relaxed, friendly environment; Fair prices; and Unique clothing and accessories Trio possesses all of these qualities, and I hope to return before too long. It's important to support small businesses which are making a go of it during these challenging economic times.
  You know when you are traveling, and you see something you like but you think, "Oh, I will see other things. I don't want to haul that purchase around in case I find something I like better"? Then you keep dwelling on that item you did not buy, having found nothing that could even come close. You vow to not make that delayed purchasing mistake again when you travel. But you slip up! This is precisely what happend to me in Paris. On our fourth day I came across what is quite possibly the most perfect store I have ever entered. It was small but not cramped, well-organized, sold beautiful clothing and accessoreis for fair prices, and the saleswomen were helpful and friendly. My family would say I spent hours in there while they ate ice cream and drooled over the cheese shop next door. However, I think I was quite speedy, leaving the store with a stellar pair of jeans and fabulous belt. Still, why did I not purchase a purse? Every bag was made of soft, pebbled leather (my favorite kind as it hides all sorts of scratches and stains). I figured I would see other terrific bags during our trip, but alas, I did not. The moral of the story is (again): When you see something you LOVE at home or during your travels, and it is in your budget, buy it!
 When we go to Switzerland, we stay in my grandmother's village. It is tiny. Think of one of those old Ricola commercials, and you have a pretty good idea. There is no wi-fi, no internet cafe. My technology-addicted husband was getting a bit antsy trying to get online during our trip. At one point, he asked me if he thought anyone would notice if he walked around the village, holding his iPhone aloft, trying to get a signal. Imagine his relief when he discovered that by sitting in one corner of the balcony, at certain times during the day, he could get a signal. What a relief! I must say I was pretty delighted to check my email as well!
Guys often have a hard time handling their stuff. Where to put the cell phone, car keys, wallet, change, random notebooks and other items? Fanny packs are an eyesore, backpacks may be too casual and too youthful, so what is a man to do? My cousin's husband in Germany solved this dilemma with style.
When we were out one evening, Gina and I realized we had no bread for the next morning. Neither of us was carrying a purse, and we did not want to haul around a grocery bag all evening. Fortunately, Rainer emerged, pulled a shopping bag out of his satchel, purchased some bread, and stuffed the rolls back into his bag. Well done! I have been told that Rainer has quite an extensive bag collection and have asked for photos which I will post on a future blog.
 My grandma had a lot of everything: jewelry, clothing, shoes, boxes of See's candy hidden in various places throughout her house. . . From her, I learned to like clothing and shopping, but I did not learn much about quality. That was something my mother taught me. Every fall my mom (pictured above) would take me to Santa Ana's Fashion Square. We would have lunch at Bullock's (Boy do I miss that store!), and then we would shop. She was very patient, even when I was a surly teen, and would help me decide what 3 outfits I would get. An emphasis was placed on how the garments fit, how they were made, and how many things in my current wardrobe they would go with. Quality clothing, she pointed out, would last longer and would look better longer. In terms of quality, my mom would show me the difference between a finished and unfinished seam, how the patterns lined up (or not), how well the buttons were attached, if the zipper worked smoothly, and if there were any loose threads ("sloppy workmanship"). When she would discover something was cheaply made she would call it, "Bon marche." I internalized these lessons and continue to look carefully at something before I consider purchasing it. But I wonder more and more how stores can sell clothing at high prices that is so obviously poorly made. I think the reason is this: Consumers do not know how to look for quality so they do not demand it. Even high-end, designer labels manufacture shoddily made clothing and accessories. Just because you are purchasing a label does not mean you are purchasing quality. Apply the same lessons my mom taught me, and you will see that price does not always indicate quality. One huge exception is the brand Hermes. I recently read an excellent article about the hand-made items Hermes produces, from start to finish. Learning that there are still trained, highly skilled craftspeople to care deeply about their work is encouraging. If you are interested in reading more about so-called luxury goods, a well-researched book that I have mentioned before is "Deluxe," by Dana Thomas.
  Making attractive, figure-flattering clothing for women over 40 should not be impossible. Still, I have a great many clients who are frustrated by what they find in stores. The clothing is either frumpy and matronly, or is garish and trying to be too young. I’ve often thought this was an American problem, but my aunt in central France had the same complaint about a lack of clothing for her age group. She still managed to look wonderful every day, wearing simple slacks, a nice sweater, and a pretty scarf (always the scarf!). Irene is pictured above with my daughters. I am not sure Fashion Lady had the answers, but I do think dressing in solids and making the most of accessories is one option.
My friend Amy is so smart. She is a marine biologist; she is an incredible cook; she is an excellent writer. Amy is also incredibly resourceful.
She recently regaled my family with a story that made me laugh so hard I cried. We were having a delicious picnic lunch (see photo) when her husband kindly informed me (as a true friend will do) that I had a piece of salami fat in between my teeth. I immediately headed for the bathroom and got it out. This reminded Amy of her recent food-in-the-teeth experience.
She was having dinner with friends when she felt a piece of salami fat wedged between her two front teeth. Not having any dental floss on hand, she excused herself and headed for the restroom. Since she had no luck removing the food with her fingernail, she became resourceful. Amy removed an earring, and used its pointy post like a toothpick. She dislodged the fat, wiped off the earring, put it back in, and happily headed back to the dinner table. Now that brings a whole new meaning to Wardrobe Wisdom.
  I am finally sitting down to write some posts after 5 very inspirational weeks in Europe. As I mentioned before, my love of food sometimes won out over my love of clothing, but now I am ready to write about what I observed people wearing and other sartorial thoughts. I write with an awareness that I'll be making some generalizations, and that I could not possibly have gleaned a complete understanding of European style in one summer vacation. Still. . .
The first month of our vacation was spent in France, starting off with a week in Paris. Yes, this was heaven! Right around the corner from our apartment were a couple of consignment stores--really! I checked them out more than once, and found them to be a lot like our more disorganized thrift stores.
I also went into a number of very chic, pricey boutiques in our neighborhood. The salespeople were friendly, and, unlike in years past, customers were allowed to touch the clothing. (I was also able to fondle the fruit in Provence, but that is another story. See? I cannot resist mentioning food!) The clothing was organized by color and most of the items were in neutral tones though there were some florals as well. In terms of style, I saw a lot of loose fitting, drapy clothing, including those terrible harem pants. One of my very favorite stores, in Herford, Germany, is pictured above. I know this sounds hard to believe, but it was too hot there for me to try anything on. Really!
Something I liked about the window displays is the little cards below which tell the prices of the clothing. That way there is no mystery about the price point of a certain boutique when one enters.
The big department stores in Paris are magnificent. They are lavishly designed and decorated and carry a dizzying number of labels. However, after 2 hours in Galeries Lafayette I could not see straight and longed for a small, intimate boutique.
Of course there were some chain stores which could have been in any city. My oldest daughter got reprimanded for taking a photo in a Zara store.
It was interesting to think about the European approach to dressing in light of the wide array of clothing stores and vast opportunities to shop. If French women really buy just a few pieces each year, why are the stores so full of merchandise? And who is buying all of the cheaper, trendier pieces? From what I observed, even the young, 20-something women wore classic, well-made pieces. I suppose they may buy some fun accessories to spice up their wardrobe once in awhile. The teens dressed a lot like teens here, in Converse sneakers, skinny jeans, and T-shirts.
Still, there was a certain panache to how men and women dressed in France that makes their style enviable and unique. I'll address this in a future post.
It was 104 degrees out when we were in Germany--pure Hell! Click here to view Bill Cunningham's, from the New York Times, slideshow featuring the well-dressed men of Manhattan, keeping their cool while looking great. I love the guy in the striped jacket and hat.
I like how every once in awhile the editors at Style Bakery show their favorite looks. To see the latest, go here and then use the pink arrow to view other editors' choices.
Today marked the first true shopping day in France. My family went to Aix-en-Provence, the sunny, charming town full of universities and fountains. The town is also full of incredibly great stores. I spent awhile in a shoe store, marveling at the popularity of Birkenstock sandals; I also spent a long time browsing in the open market, and scored a cute cotton top.
The best education I received in Aix was obtained during lunch at an outdoor cafe. After I stopped giving the stink eye to the woman at the next table who switched bread baskets with us when I went to the restroom, I set my sights on the passersby.
From teenage girls to 70+ old women, the look was chic. Scarves were not very prevalent, but above-the-knee length linen dresses in white, black, and khaki were everywhere. Ruffles on skirts and dresses were worn by the younger crowd, but women of all ages wore the shorter dresses. Almost every woman had a gladiator sandal though some wore wedge sandals. To me, they all looked very casual, comfortable, and fashionable.
My only regret of the day was getting in Aix too late for the open produce market. It is supposed to be extraordinary!
 I know you've been on the edge of your seat, wondering if I packed well for my 5 week trip. Well, as of today, I have worn everything I packed! Bringing the pashmina and scarf have pulled together many an outfit, and the jeans I purchased in Paris got me through several cool and rainy days. The light raincoat I tossed in at the last minute saved me from getting wet. Am I tired of anything yet? No, but I would like to replace the simple silver hoop earrings I lost as I feel funny without them, and it would be nice to find a pretty sundress.
Rolling the clothing up to pack has allowed me to squeeze in the little gifts I've picked up along the way. My girls seem to have packed well also. And once my husband obtained his French pool-approved Speedo, he was set.
Well, we are now in Provence, after spending a week in the Champagne region and in central France with relatives. During that special week, my clothing obsession took a back seat to my food obsession. We ate like royalty! I loved the savory meats (yes, me!), delicious cheeses, incredible breads, and wonderful fruit tarts that ended every meal. Of course the champagne made by my mom's cousin added a delightful element to the meals. Frankly, I did not shop much nor did I pay much attention to what people were wearing since I was so focused on the current or upcoming meals!
|
