Tip for Recessionistas #1

My friend Katherine is so clever. I was whining to her about how worn my wallet looked, how they don't make leather goods like they used to, how the outlet mall did not have one wallet I liked. . .

She walked into her garage and returned to the room carrying a little jar of Murphy Oil Soap. Katherine told me that Murphy is magic, and that she used it for her tack when she was riding horses years ago. She also told me that she uses it all the time to bring out the best in her wood furniture.

Before I knew it, she had a damp rag and was dipping it in the viscous stuff. She then rubbed it on my wallet and, before my eyes, smoothed out the cracks in the leather and made the wallet look loved, not trashed.

When I mentioned Murphy to my dad, he said, "Of course I have that. I use it all the time." He is Mr. Resourceful: He shines his shoes, repairs anything around the house before tossing it out, and goes to great lengths to fix cherished items. I have a popcorn popper that he and my mom received as a wedding gift-- 50 years ago! Sure the handle is no longer metal but is fashioned out of a broom handle. But it still works!

Tonight I borrowed my dad's Murphy Oil Soap and treated my boots and leather shoes to a good washing. They look fantastic! All women and men who are tightening their belts right now should also be using Murphy on those belts, their wallets, purses, shoes and boots. Being frugal means taking care of your stuff and making it last.

Joy Work Club

A terrific women's conference will be taking place on April 24 in Santa Maria. One of my colleagues, Sara Caputo, will be speaking on creating work/life balance through communication. I will be speaking on a marketing panel as the expert on projecting a professional image.

I feel confident that this event will be very worthwhile and hope that it will be held every year. For information, go to the link: The Joy Work Club Women's Conference.

Soul-Sapping Outlet Shopping

Shopping at outlet malls is one of my least favorite pastimes. These places are always crowded with people who look tired and harried, and it seems like quantity wins over the selection available. Great deals can be had, but at the expense of a heck of a lot of time. So, given all the incredible sales going on everywhere right now, why on earth would I go to an outlet mall?

We were on our way to a romantic weekend in the desert and it seemed like a good idea at the time. And my heart does race when I see a J. Crew store in any form. But at the Cabazon Premium Outlet Mall, my beloved store had only a few t-shirts, bright yellow sweaters--yes, they do look great on Michelle Obama-- and a few belts. Oh, it was sad there, and it was grim in the other trillion stores as well. Some things were discounted quite a bit, but the deal were no better than the ones at my local mall.

What made the detour worthwhile was this: a long-coveted item is no longer on my list. For three years I have been stalking a long black St. John sweater. It never goes on sale and is priced around $1475--a bit beyond my budget. In Cabazon, I tried on the sweater. It was only $750!!! And guess what? I no longer loved it nor could I imagine it hanging in my closet. Whew!

My advice is this: Only buy something at an outlet if you truly love it. The clothing is largely made just for those outlet stores, so quality varies. You are not always getting last season's clothing or overstock from the "real" stores.

In the Newspaper

Call me old-fashioned, but I love to read the newspaper the classic way: by holding it in my hands. In the Los Angeles Times' Image section last Sunday, there was a terrific article titled "20 Ways to Upgrade Your Style."

Some highlights include a paragraph on the new book by Jesse Garza and Joe Lupo, "Life in Color." So many people would have a much firmer grasp on their wardrobe and a much easier time finding clothing they like if they learn what colors look best on them. Black is not everyone's friend!

Several pieces of advice have to do with common (or not common enough!) etiquette. This means reminders about being on time, behaving like a gentleman, lady, or well-mannered child, and the importance of a timely R.S.V.P.

I particularly like the tips regarding ways to update one's wardrobe and their use of the term "wardrobe wisdom." This entire article is well worth the read, even if you do it online.

Worth the Investment

Ten years ago I splurged and bought my husband an expensive Ghurka wallet for our anniversary. It was a beauty: black, in a classic design, and soft as a petal. He adored this wallet but could not get over its price. He does not always understand my Wardrobe Wisdom: spend more money on something you will use the most; and buy a classic, fantastically made piece since it is an investment that will last for years.

Last year my husband gave this wallet to my brother when he decided to follow the advice of a time management person (not a wardrobe expert!) and bought an (unattractive) money clip-style wallet. I am still not sure how this has made his daily life more efficient, but I do know this: the Ghurka still looks great and continues to serve its purpose. My brother, who does appreciate quality and style, carries it every day.

The moral of the story is, again, buy quality when you can. It is worth it!

Calling all Designers!

When the Boden catalog lands in my mailbox, I get very excited. Since I want to make its perusal something special, I wait until I can drool over every page in peace. This means waiting until my girls are in bed.

As usual the new catalog has been pored over and I have already faux ordered several items. Though the models are younger than me--except for one who is a regular in More magazine--the styles are spot on for women my age. Why can't more designers figure out that what women in their 40s and 50s want are fashionable clothes that bring out their best assets and downplay the others? Is this so hard? Must I spend all of my money at Boden every season?

Here is my open letter to designers:
Please make dresses that have sleeves, sweaters that nip in at the waist a bit, and cool, stylish coats that can be worn over everything from skirts to jeans. Please design clothing with color in mind and make some pretty pieces in printed fabrics as well. We want to look fashionable but not silly, beautiful but not fussy, and polished but not stuffy.

Making the sort of clothing that will reflect the above wishes will win you are hearts, loyalty, and a hefty portion of our earnings.

A Peddler

My husband seems to believe that a charming little peddler will arrive at our doorstep, bringing with him a rack full of great suits, in his size, and with a fantastic tailor in tow. At least three times a year he sighs, looks upward and states, "Oh, I just really need a gray suit. Now how can I get one?" His wife is a wardrobe consultant, and he asks this question!

He is not alone in this fantasy of hoping that someone will magically appear at the door with that dreamed-of clothing item, whether it is comfortable, chic black pumps, terrific, flattering jeans, or the ideal white blouse. I have friends and clients who share this fantasy.

The reality is this: A person must shop--whether online or in stores--if he or she wants something. The dream peddler will not be knocking on the door any time soon. So here are some simple guidelines for shopping: First, figure out just what you need by going through your closet and determining what gaps there are in your wardrobe. Then decide what in particular you are looking for in each item. For example, if you want a pair of black pants, decide if you want them with a straight leg or with some flare, high or low-waisted, wool or rayon. . . Think about the stores that may carry the item you want and call first to see if they do indeed carry it.

Finally, go to the stores and try on the pants, not settling for anything but the ones that match your criteria. If you go the online route, try talking to their customer service person before making your purchase to get more details about the fit and quality of the item in question.

Of course you can also call me, and I will search tirelessly for what you want. You can just hand me your list, and soon I will be handing you a bag full of clothing. I'm even better than the peddler!

I Shoe'd have Known

Wow! What a terrible pun. Sometimes my dad's pun-prone genes just crash through.

A couple of weeks ago I was seduced by a gorgeous pair of shoes. It was love. The shoes were made of soft black Italian suede, in a t-strap style with a two inch wedge heel. I tried them on, found that they did not instantly irritate my bunion, and walked around the shop for a few minutes. Though the sole seemed rather stiff and my heel slipped a bit, I was smitten and could not be talked out of them.

Normally when I buy something new I cannot wait to wear it. However, I put off wearing the black beauties until I worked on Friday. Five hours later I could not wait to take the shoes off. They left a blister on my right heel and my toes were squished and red.

My Santa Barbara wardrobe clients get an earful when I look into their closets and see lovely shoes that have barely been worn. "You need to look for pretty and comfortable shoes," I tell them over and over.

I admit that in the past it was not easy to find attractive shoes that were not hideous-looking. Nowadays the magical combination of style and comfort is much more common. From Aerosoles to Sofft, to Ugg, women can now have it all in footwear.

A recent discovery made by a friend who is taking tango lessons (!) is the brand Tara. These shoes are incredibly fun and sexy and are so comfortable that they can be danced in for hours! Who knew?

If I am going to be walking from my car to a restaurant or will be sitting versus walking during the day, I will wear my new shoes. I have learned my lesson and will be taking my own shoe-shopping advice from now on.

Fun New Words

As a former English teacher, I love learning new words. This year one of my clients, when describing her shopping for the new year, said she was going to become a "recessionista."

I also liked the word "frugalista" which can apply to shopping beyond clothing and accessories.

Let's not be greedy this year: wear what we have and love; consign or donate what we don't; and buy what we need. And look good while doing all of this.

Reading for Pleasure

Yesterday I was talking to a group of women about my favorite places to glean fashion information. While there are some good blogs and websites (that will be another post!), I am happiest reading books and magazines. As I have stated before, I also love to read the New York Times "Style" section on Thursdays.

What I look for in books is good advice on weeding out wardrobes and ways to update one's look. One favorite is Nothing to Wear, by Jesse Garza and Joe Lupo. This book offers extremely insightful, practical advice on how to edit your closet and determine your style. I like how the authors show their sensitivity toward this sometimes difficult editing process by periodically "checking in" with the reader.

Another book I can recommend is Before You Put That On, by Lloyd Boston. He gives a tip a day on how women can dress better. Dress Your Best, by Clinton Kelly and Stacy London features photos of real people, in every shape and size imaginable. These two television hosts show how to work with one's assets to dress well for work and play. When I get calls from potential Santa Barbara wardrobe clients, I say that I am like Stacy and Clinton minus the sarcasm and trash can for tossing out clothing.

In terms of color, say what you will about women feverishly reaching into their purses to pull out their color swatches while shopping. These women are not to be mocked! Having a clear sense of what colors flatter and do not flatter you can save you frustration, stress, time, and money. Though the book features comically outdated styles, the color advice in Color Me Beautiful, by Carole Jackson, is fabulous.

Speaking of comics, the books by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine, the original "What Not to Wear" duo, are a hoot. Their first book covers ways to divert attention from "big boobs, thick legs, and saddlebags," among other body issues. The writing is funny and their advice and photos are great.

I subscribe to Lucky magazine but it often just makes me feel old and frivolous. However, the Lucky Shopping Manual contains buckets of fantastic wardrobe guidance.

On the subject of magazines, one is a standout: Easy Living. If only it were available regularly in the U.S.! This exceptional magazine is from England and never lets me down. It features consistently smart articles on everything from fashion to food to books. Maybe if enough women demand better U.S. circulation, subscriptions will become more affordable. Barnes and Noble and Borders sometimes do carry Easy Living, but don't count on it! (Try to ignore the "Losing Weight" words on the cover image above. The magazine focuses on healthy women, not dieting.)

This weekend my husband and I are celebrating our anniversary in the desert. Along with my bathing suit, I am lugging an enormous bag of clothing reading material that has been sitting next to my bed for weeks. I cannot wait to lounge by the pool and read!

Beyond Closets

When I arrive at a client's house and learn that her or she has worked with Sara Caputo, I know that my job will be easier in some ways. I will not have to spend a lot of time telling someone why an item in question should be parted with or that there are better ways to manage one's possessions. Sara's clients have a clear vision of how they want to live. They gain insight and a sense of calm and order from her.

Sara is the founder of Radiant Organizing. She says on her site, "We work to your strengths and build custom solutions in workflow systems and design, paper and data management, and data storage systems."

In other words, Sara helps people assess what stuff they need and don't and teaches them how to manage their time in order to live more fully. She does not judge or laugh when she sees your office or kitchen. Instead she listens with compassion as you describe what keeps you from feeling more efficient and together. She is incredibly smart, funny, and organized, and leaves you with tools on how to continue the work she started with you. Sara is brilliant!

Clothing Exchange Party

What a terrific event! Today I spoke with a group of dynamic women about clothing, shopping, and how to update a wardrobe. Women also brought clothing that they no longer wore, and the hostesses living room became a sort of swap meet! In addition, each women had brought with her an item of clothing that she could not figure out how to wear or that she had never really liked but could not figure out why. I suggested new ways to wear an item and determined why others did not work on them.

We drank wine, ate cheese, crackers, and lovely cupcakes, and there was a lot of laughter. Friends slipped on each others' castoffs, stepping out of their comfort zone to try a new look. Some women made great discoveries and everyone had a ball. I think this is a super way to spend an afternoon or evening with friends. Why not plan one yourself? I'll be there!

Don't Just Buy. Shop.

The title of this blog comes from a wise little piece in this month's Esquire magazine. The author wants readers to think of shopping as an exercise in learning about one's own style and tastes. I share his opinion and pass it on to my clients.

I so often hear from my Santa Barbara wardrobe clients that they hate shopping. This is understandable if one is shopping under stress, or one feels fat, or tired, or feels cash-strapped. . . The reasons are numerous and varied. I understand that shopping is not always a party, but it can be done if not with joy, than at least with purpose and focus.

Eric Jennings ends the article with these brilliant words: "When you do it [shopping] the right way--when you know what to look for and how to make your money go the extra mile--it becomes less of an obligation and more of an opportunity. For better stuff, for better savings, or for something that will set you apart."