Successful Accessorizing

A college friend of mine has always had a knack for accessorizing. No matter what she wears, she exhibits a stylish flair via unusual earrings, a scarf, or an interesting necklace.

For her, adding such things to her outfits is natural and effortless. For others, time spent agonizing over what necklace goes with what shirt and how to tie a darn scarf can be confusing and paralyzing. "Heck," they say, "I'll just put on hoop earrings and call it a day."

But oh, how quickly an outfit can go from blah to wow with the addition of one accessory. A factor that is liberating when one thinks about accessorizing today is that things don't have to match perfectly. If your bag and shoes are different colors, it is okay. If your earrings do not have something in common with your bracelet, no big deal! I am not recommending yellow flats with a zebra handbag and a rhinestone bracelet though. Sure, my grandma did such things with great confidence all the time, but she was. . . eccentric. Wardrobe Wisdom advises that you wear one standout piece at a time and keep the rest of your accessories pretty simple. Just like my fashionable friend does--every time!

P.S. There are books about scarf-tying and other accessorizing tricks. Find them at your local library or in your local bookshop.

Not a Secret Anymore

There are a couple of items I have coveted for quite some time now which I do not share with many people. But now I am not embarrassed about them anymore. No, I am proud of these quirky things that help me imagine some pretty great situations in which they could be worn.

The first is a caramel-colored fringed suede jacket. I have wanted one for at least 15 years. Who knows why. The whole cowboy/Western look is not one of my favorites and I look pretty awful in that color. Still, I can picture myself in a great white t-shirt, jeans, and this fantastic jacket, heading off for. . . what? A date with my husband? Meeting girlfriends for drinks? Yeah, those are actually pretty realistic situations. Maybe I should get that jacket, wherever it is.

My second coveted item is a sequined tank dress. This is something I have wanted for only a few years, and I understand its appeal: it loudly states, "When you wear me, you will have an incredibly fun time." A sequined dress wants to go out and party. It wants to dance, drink wine, and laugh a lot. I've tried a few on but they have been too short or simply unflattering. But still, they beckon to me, and one day I will splurge on this joyful frock.

The reason I have not purchased either of these pieces is that they have not made sense for my lifestyle thus far. I try to practice what I preach and as I tell my Santa Barbara wardrobe clients, your closet should reflect your current lifestyle. My husband and I do not go out on dates very often, and there haven't been many times I was unable to attend an event for my lack of a sequined dress. Someday though, I can imagine seeing them as not mere frivolous purchases, but clothing that makes sense for my lifestyle and my budget.

How about you? What are some clothes that you have dreamed about for a long time but have not bought?

Black Again? Really?

I like black as much as the next woman, but black is one of "my colors." Black is not, however, everyone's friend, and I find it irresponsible for fashion experts to insist, almost every season, that black is back and that everyone should have a little black dress, a black turtleneck sweater, etc.

Instead, think about how you look and feel in black. My mom is one of the prettiest ladies I know, but she does not look good in black (and would be the first to admit it). For a lot of people, black adds years, wrinkles, and a deathly pallor to their face. Who needs that?

Do not feel pressured to succumb to the allure of black. Your neutral can be a flattering shade of brown, beige, even navy or pink. Think of what suits you, not what the latest fashion article is telling you is a "must."

On a related note, I encourage women to get their colors done by an expert. Knowing what shades and colors suit you best can save you a lot of time shopping and a lot of money buying clothing that you never feel great in but cannot determine why.

Tops that Fit

So many women find shopping for tops challenging. They feel defeated by the end of the day, having tried on a number of different styles from high to low end, fitted to boxy, knit to silk. The brilliant company Rebecca and Drew Manufacturing provides something unique. Instead of offering sizes from XS-XL or even from sizes 0-14, sizing is determined by one's bra size. Now how smart is that?

Advice for our Times

Bless Bill Cunningham and his most recent fashion slide show called "Another Facet of Paris." What I love most about this piece is the advice he gives to women toward the end: "It doesn't hurt to dress in a cheerful way," during these uncertain, difficult economic times. I like that he is not exhorting women to shop but to pull things out of their own closets.

Saying Yes or No to Trends

One of the many things I like about being in my forties is not feeling compelled to try every trend. It is not like when I was younger and felt frustrated and very left out for not being able to wear Dittos in the seventies. Trend disappointment memories came back to me while I was reading Style Bakery's excellent article: Spring 2009: Trends to Try + Trends to Trash.

Today I can easily laugh at some of the fads that do not suit me while embracing the ones that add some splash to my look: I know what works for me and what does not. I already wear black and white a lot so adopting that trend is no stretch, and I have always liked ruffles and floral prints so they will be appearing this spring on me as well. Safari jackets tend to come in colors that are terribly unflattering on me, and I have learned that I am never truly comfortable in jackets. So that is a hot new look I will skip. I will also pass on wearing jumpsuits and rompers. I don't really need to explain why, do I? The same goes for harem pants (see photo). HELP!

Snakeskin adds an interesting dimension to accessories and I find it adds a bit of edginess to my outfits. Since I don't like to invest a lot of money in trends, I am delighted with my $20 snakeskin sandals from a local surf shop and a very cool sash belt from Talbots last fall. Striped shirts and full skirts are looks I wear all the time, though I need to watch the proportions since I am petite. Now, as far as bright colors go, I think a pop of bright color here and there works for me. I will stick to bright blues and pinks but I will not veer into the neon range that is currently leeching into stores. Still, I've recently seen neon on several high school students and they looked great.

What about you? What trends are you looking forward to wearing this spring? Which ones do you know you will pass on? Tribal prints? Ripped and acid washed jeans? Long blazers?

And Dresses for All

I sure like to wear a dress. Wearing a dress makes me feel feminine and attractive. Wearing a dress on a day I feel yucky lifts my spirits. Moreover, I have observed that in general women are treated with more respect and get more attention while shopping--from small boutiques to the farmers' market--when they wear a dress.

This season there are a zillion lovely dresses in the stores. If you already enjoy dresses, you are in shopping heaven. If you like the idea of dresses but have not embraced wearing them yet, read on. About.com has some very good posts about clothing. One I found particularly helpful is called Flattering Dresses for Every Body Type. Not all dress styles are for all women, and this post shows what styles will work the best for your body type.